Well, I finally did it: I finished knitting The Sweater That the Universe Denied. It has a front, a back, and two far-longer-than-necessary sleeves.
You may notice the look of terror on my face.
I was afraid this was also possibly a pre-mortem shot.
The next step was to cut the sleeves, by crocheting stays into place. One tutorial suggested sewing by hand - but this yarn is so piece-y that I worried it wouldn't stay in place. I found another tutorial that suggested a crocheted steek, which sounded perfect. I added my steeks, and carefully snipped one stitch at a time.
It went perfectly, and I'd begun to stitch the cuffs when the cat nabbed a loose strand of yarn: the one for the steek.
It was almost entirely ripped out.
"Did you expect finishing TSTUD to go smoothly?" Spousal Unit asked. (He has a point.)
The evil little culprit.
I pulled out some heavy-duty quilting thread, doubled it over, and did a kind of paranoid back stitch/whip stitch combination down the length of the ruined mess of yarn. You can't tell in this shot, but it really does look better.
After this disaster, I found this tutorial, which suggests that only machine sewing makes a good enough steek for acrylic fibers. Drat my belated discovery.
I sewed up each side, and it went smoothly and beautifully. The irony is that with the steeks poking out like they are, it makes the sleeves feel too short. They aren't - but they feel that way.
Last, I added buttons that I found at The Knitting Tree. Sow's Ear may be my favorite yarn shop, but The Knitting Tree has the best button selection.
With the double front, it's incredibly warm. I still have to block it properly and sew, sew, sew the steeks into place. But I think I've finally triumphed over this ridiculous monstrosity of a sweater.
I am never, ever, ever putting it in the washing machine.