Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Indiana Jones and the Malignant Polyp

Spousal Unit's late-night revelation that my favorite work pants fit me like I "took a dump in them" seems like a pretty good precursor to my post about the colon in the library.

Hosted by the UW Carbone Cancer Center, Spousal Unit looked forward to this inflatable walk-through colon (deemed the Stroll-in Colon) for weeks. I'm not joking. You know I'm not.

Spousal Unit eagerly leaves me in the dust in favor of the colon.
Stranger things have happened.

It doesn't take much for him to channel Indy.
Though this might be the weirdest place he's done so.

Hooray! Normal tissue!

Boo polyps.

As with many strange educational installments, we learned something. UW developed the virtual colonoscopy, which is completely non-invasive. It's not covered by many insurances yet, and you still have to drink the Evil Orange Barium of Doom, but hey, it sounds a lot more comfortable. I'm betting (without knowing anything about the technical aspects) it will be standard procedure in short order, based on how much hate regular colonoscopies get.

And then you can be driven home by a cheery guy with grey toothpaste hair, talking animatedly about how fun the procedure was. What's not to love?

Monday, February 24, 2014

Apartments Are Okay (If You Don't Mind Always Feeling Annoyed)

Welcome to today, brought to you by those fine folks (or single entity, or electrons, or whatever) who brought you yesterday and, presumably, tomorrow.

Last week, I decided that the apartment wasn't so bad, compared to the nightmarish mountain of responsibility soon to be thrust upon me by home ownership. I could tolerate things like a random leak appearing in the ceiling directly over the papers I needed for my mortgage. I could withstand the thunka thunka thunka of hideous music at disgusting decibels for three hours of my Saturday morning. The repair crew not understanding that I want the bathroom fan to work, rather than having the mold cleaned off the walls? Acceptable - at least the walls were cleaned.

Doing it all myself is a daunting prospect, especially when it involves having zero dollars for an undetermined period of time. I know this is part of the process and I'll get over it; I'm just glad to have a few weeks to think about it all and let it sink in, rather than regretting it once I'm in the new place. In the meantime, I'm remembering the exciting things, like the window bench we want to install, or a Saturday morning in the tea room, which (presumably) does not leak.

Also, distractions like my newest nephew help. Thanks, little dude.

Baby's first thumbs-up!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Home is Where I Don't Live Yet

Yesterday was weird, so while we were at the dealership getting an oil change, I also had a manicure.

The day was weird because we bought a house.

It's south of Madison. We only saw it for the first time on Sunday, and within a couple hours, we put an offer on it. (It's that kind of market right now.) Three bedrooms, wood floors, and lots of potential.

I'd love to share more about it right now, except that hey, we just bought a house. So there's work to be done, and I'll share updates as I can.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Being Good at Feeling Stressed Is Bad

It's been a while. The short explanation is stress and lots to do, but here's a long answer for those who enjoy hearing such things.


1. House hunting. Spousal Unit and I have pulled out the big guns and are cautiously stalking our prey, waiting for the right one to line up in our sights. Actually, I take that back. I'm the one using a gun, so that when the right house jumps in front of me, I can scream in terror and shoot a wonderful idea full of Holes of Terror and Second-Guessing. Spousal Unit is using a net, because he's more sensible about this stuff.

As much as I'm great at being frugal, I find it impossible to recognize frugality in large purchases. No matter what I'm getting for the money, I can't help but feel shocked at the numbers. This includes computers, cars, and anything else you can't find in working order at Savers or Goodwill. Spousal Unit can recognize good deals in big numbers; I'm good at curling into a ball and analyzing all the ways this might alter my entire life and result in me becoming a street-dwelling junkie. (I'm only slightly exaggerating.)

2. Vacation. Yes, I'm stressed about vacation. Last week, I panicked as I realized that if I don't get my passport NOW, it might not come until after we're supposed to leave, and then I'll have to sneak into Canada in the trunk of someone's car.

I called five post offices before I found one with an opening for the next day, then scrambled to rearrange work. (It's totally acceptable for me to have daytime appointments and stuff, but I hate asking more than once a month to rearrange my work schedule, so I get stressed out by things like three tweaks to the schedule last week and one this week.) I got my obligatory Terrible Government ID Picture taken, then was told at the post office that it was NOT ACCEPTABLE and had to have it retaken for more money.

After I finally had everything lined up, Spousal Unit pointed out that I could just get it expedited instead. That would have saved trouble. But not money.

Sanity seems to be a hot commodity right now, though. As in, I'm having trouble getting/keeping any. This all means one thing.

I need a bath and a glass of wine tonight.
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