Deviant Dispatches

*Spousal Unit works at a medical supply company. He sent this letter last week to the woman who orders company supplies. He really did.* Hi Michelle, I had a question about the pens that we have. Well, it's really more of an issue. You see, earlier today, I took a pen out of the supply closet for use on an Official Document. This document was not time sensitive, though it could very well have been. I could have had need to write a note on an important certificate for a doctor's signature, or I could have needed a pen to correct an authorization request to Medicaid. What if the patient's house had been on fire and I needed to sign an attestation in order for Medicare to cover replacement equipment, but the patient was cold, hungry, and without their medical equipment until I could do so? I hope I've impressed upon you the gravity of this situation. So I took a pen from the supply closet for use on an Official Document. At this point, I'd like to refer you to ...

Hi all!  Spousal Unit here; Wifal Unit is taking the day off so you'll have to suffer through my musings instead.  I thought I’d start with a little television entertainment, which is odd because Wifal Unit and I hardly watch any.  What we have done is thought about shows that we would watch, and with the help of some friends, I have prepared the ultimate prime-time lineup.  6:00 “Craziest Pet Grooming” Starring Alec Baldwin and Will Arnett This would be a reality show.  An amazing reality show.  Imagine these two guys traveling the world, finding the most outlandish grooming styles (probably for dogs of rich people), and critiquing them.  If your imagination is having trouble coping with that much awesome, here’s a fake movie trailer made from scenes of them in 30 Rock. Now picture them with a 30 minute show.  I like to think that at least once per episode, they’d get into a growling contest with an animal/each other.  ...