Deviant Dispatches

Happy belated Avatar Day! We celebrated Avatar Day on Father's Day this year (instead of the day before), so we decided to include Spousal Unit's father in on the fun by writing "Happy Avatar Day , Father Lord " on the cake. He didn't get it, but that's okay. A slice of virtual ice cream cake to anyone who does get it.

I don't buy Darth Vader's zero-to-evil-in-five-seconds shtick. Source A few minutes before the whole " slaughtering younglings " scene, Anakin Skywalker had turned Chancellor Palpatine over to the Jedi. He recognized Palpatine as evil and an enemy. (I just want to add that I hate the use of younglings instead of children - as if that makes this galaxy any cooler/farther away. They're freaking children , George Lucas. You don't need a new word for them.) Anyway. Anakin had questions, and he was confused, but he still had enough sense to recognize evil and right and wrong. Then suddenly, he makes his decision. Source I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is that when Palpatine says, "Time to go slaughter some kids so you can learn how to save your hunny-bunny," Anakin just says, "Okay." Even as a newly initiated Sith Lord - who earlier that same day turned in his friend for being an evil beeyotch - you...

I'm a fan of all things weird. We all know this and agree that it makes me quirky and eccentric rather than strange and weird myself. (Here's where you nod your head in placating agreement.) One of the weird things I've always had a special place for are weird safety instructions. You know, the little things people never read about their new devices, which leads to strange accidents and the instructions getting even more bizarre in the next iteration. The best source for these, I've found, is usually a device whose instructions are written by someone who does not speak English, whose words of wisdom are then translated by someone else who doesn't know English. I've run across several like that myself, though the fount of all such wisdom is usually Engrish.com . This is not the case today, as I found this little gem in the box for our Blu Ray player. "The second rule of Fight Club is..."

Last week, Spousal Unit and I got a new TV. It's a 39-inch Insignia , and we paid a damn good price for it. (This doesn't change the fact that my thrifty Norwegian sensibilities were all in a tizzy at shelling out so much money.) We spent a good deal of time in the store debating whether to get 60Hz or 120. What's the difference? I'll tell you. 60Hz looks like normal TV. Good,  but normal. Nothing about looking at it makes me uncomfortable. 120Hz is for action movies and things that move quickly - higher quality, sharper picture. It makes me intensely uncomfortable. One of the first things we watched on the new screen was the finale of Trinity Blood . (We can now watch Netflix on the TV through Blu Ray.) That was fine - wonderful, even - because it was animated. The details were sharp, and we saw so many things we'd missed on our little computer screen. But then, we watched Star Wars Episode I. Believe me, I was against it. The event was delayed for a...

Last night, I took up a new knitting project. I was thinking of a relative I haven't seen in a while, and I wanted to knit something to show I was thinking of her. Many might think that, in deciding on a string of knitted, stuffed hearts, I fell prey to corporate marketing . Many more might agree, as I chose pink alpaca yarn for this craft. Honestly, I was just throwing together something I thought this relative would enjoy. Nothing more. I admit to being a bit distracted as I worked. We were watching Alien . Yes, Alien . I have made a mental note to myself that scifi thrillers are not conducive to good knitting, at least on first viewing. I began the project (chosen from here ) with no problems whatsoever. The stitches fell into place easily; the instructions were easy to understand. But with all of the hosting and egg-laying and gnashing of teeth on the TV screen, I missed a vital step in knitting the first heart: I forgot to knit every other row without adding...

Source Dear Spousal Unit, Please explain why you delight in tormenting me. We have been married for almost two years. This should not happen for another year or two, I'd think. Spousal Unit, let me explain something to you about the movie The Shining . It's about a writer and his family, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cold and snow. It's about the writer's descent into madness and his attempt to kill everyone around him. In short, it's not a family film. Let me be blunt: that movie draws a close parallel to our current lives. Do you  really  want to put that poster in the room where I plan to write? It not only sounds like a foolish idea, but a dangerous one. I'm already teetering on the edge of socially acceptable behavior; do you want to push me over entirely? On second thought, don't answer that. True it may be, that you'd hang that terrible memorial to insanity, rage, and supernatural revenge in the library's hallway, w...

Aladdin has pretty much always been my favorite movie, and every time I watch it, I learn something new. On my most recent watching, I heard something new in the scene where Jasmine "falls for" Jafar: she tells him his eyebrows are very angular, and that he has "cute little gaps" between his teeth. This can be added to the myriad things I've learned from Aladdin in the past, as follows. Source 1. Don't marry anyone who makes you change your clothes. Or, you know, spits on you. 2. People who say they're an excellent judge of character usually aren't. 3. Puns are often used for evil purposes. "Don't toy with me!" 4. A magic carpet is a pretty pimp ride. 5. Don't turn your best friend into an elephant. 6. So long as you have 75 golden camels, no one will question whether you're actually a prince. 7. If you make a wish to become a prince, be sure to include a "no lie-detector feathers"...

Hi all!  Spousal Unit here; Wifal Unit is taking the day off so you'll have to suffer through my musings instead.  I thought I’d start with a little television entertainment, which is odd because Wifal Unit and I hardly watch any.  What we have done is thought about shows that we would watch, and with the help of some friends, I have prepared the ultimate prime-time lineup.  6:00 “Craziest Pet Grooming” Starring Alec Baldwin and Will Arnett This would be a reality show.  An amazing reality show.  Imagine these two guys traveling the world, finding the most outlandish grooming styles (probably for dogs of rich people), and critiquing them.  If your imagination is having trouble coping with that much awesome, here’s a fake movie trailer made from scenes of them in 30 Rock. Now picture them with a 30 minute show.  I like to think that at least once per episode, they’d get into a growling contest with an animal/each other.  ...