Deviant Dispatches

To preface this post, I'd like to say that this morning, I found a whole, unopened can of soup in the fridge. I put there last night when I was prepping today's lunch. Absent-mindedness may follow. I've been craving gumbo for nigh on a month, so when I finally had a Saturday afternoon free, I jumped on it. Gumbo is always better the longer you stew it, and I find that it's even better the next day, when the flavors have had even more time to intermingle. I adapted this recipe from my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook (you know, the one with the red-checkered background). In my version, I used Penzeys Cajun seasoning , which I found is a little too sweet for my taste, at least in large quantities. I'd go lighter on that next time, which is reflected in the recipe. I also used bacon grease (from CSA bacon) for the oil because I had some on hand. And because humane, local meat juice is tasty. I'm not a bad vegetarian. I'm a smart one. Vegetarian Gumbo...

With the addition of two cats to our household, I've been noticing smells a lot more lately, which has made me want candles. I usually have a few on hand, but my winter stash of cinnamon and pumpkin scents is running low, so I want to explore for other delightful fragrances. Naturally, this makes me wonder what the stinkiest, most disgusting candles in the world smell like. After smelling a few last night, I know I definitely hate mixed berry candles; I hate that combo as yogurt, and it would make me puke as a household scent. But the bacon candle might be worse. If you want your house to smell like bacon , then make bacon . Simplest solution in the world. This link talks about a series of candles designed to smell like New York at certain places and times in history. Some are meant to smell like tar and paint thinner. Unsurprisingly, the only ones still availabl e in that series are the ones that don't make you want to die. (Though black pepper and grapefruit might ...

I have two things to tell you about today. One of them is thrilling like getting caught in a cool rain on a hot day. The other one is thrilling like discovering something at the back of the fridge has turned an unusual color. This week, I made brussels sprouts. (You already know which one this is, don't you? Damn. I tried so hard to make it a guessing game.) We realized, heading home last night, that we had no vegetables at home. "What kind of vegetarians are we?" the two of us wondered, missing our summer CSA. So we stopped at Aldi for cauliflower, radishes, and, of course, brussels sprouts. This is how they grow, in case you were wondering. I know I was. All about the sprouts I've never made brussels sprouts before, so this was interesting. I charred them in butter and leftover bacon fat (yes, I saved it from the lovely CSA bacon we had a week ago), then let them simmer in veggie broth for four minutes and added salt. Spousal Unit, who...

I always have a hard time figuring out what to make for big holiday dinners - namely, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Their traditional main dishes are meat, whether it's ham or lamb, turkey or fish. Obviously, those are all out of the question, so what's a vegetarian to do? Fondue. At least, that's what I did this year, along with vegetarian sushi. My meatatarian in-laws loved it (at least, that's what they're saying, and I have no desire to question them further). For the fondue, I found a bag of pre-shredded fondue cheese, a mix of Emmentaler and Gruyere. The bag was only 12 ounces, which turned out to be a perfect first course for five people. But it was $14 for that little thing. Ever the thrifty one, I thought surely buying the cheese in brick form would be cheaper... but no. An 8-ounce brick of Gruyere was $12, meaning ounce for ounce, the pre-shredded stuff was cheaper. On top of that, it was less work for me. I've read in various places that ...

At this time of year, when I knit/crochet gifts for people, I always get a little flustered. It's not the right season for scarves, hats, and mittens, so what do you do? You do this. Rock Island by Jared Flood I love the intricate details on this shawl! Lightweight, lacy shawls are perfect for summer days when you're wearing cool clothing, but are making a trip to an air-conditioned joint. Then you don't have to carry around a big, bulky sweater. Unfortunately, this beauty is made with lace, which takes quite a while to knit up. Gifts are often last-minute surprises, but you still want to put effort and thought into it. Spring Petals Messenger Bag by Susan Gater I love projects that allow you to choose your own color scheme. Imagine this in red and black, or maybe orange, blue, and yellow. So many possibilities - plus, the original colors are eye-catching and really pop! This bag is crocheted with Lily Sugar 'n Cream yarn - great for quick, durabl...

I had an awesome post for you today, full of things I'm excited about lately. I wrote paragraph after paragraph, detailing the awesomeness. Usually, this stupid site will save my progress as I go. But every now and then, the internet is a little silly (read: Class A dunce) and terrible things happen. Like I try to add a picture before I realize nothing has saved. And another window will open, which isn't really another window and blocks me from working on anything I've written thus far. So the page continues pretending to open the picture uploader, while the words I've written are barely visible on the other side, and I know I will lose all of them. Stupid internet. Stupid Blogger. So, rather than rewriting exactly what I just wrote (because now I am not only discouraged, but late), I will enumerate the things that make me excited, when I'm not too busy being pissed at my blog host. 1. Circle M Farm - Spousal Unit and I are getting a share of vegetabl...

Ladies and gents, I have a word for you. This word has been on my mind for the last several weeks, haunting my dreams and weakening me in waking moments. I've been wanting to tell everyone about it, because it's such an amazing thing, and I think everyone should experience the joy it brings. My life is more tolerable, knowing this thing exists, and I think it's perfectly appropriate that I share it with you on Valentine's Day. This one word? Gravy. I made vegan - vegan!  - gravy a couple of weeks ago, to go with garlic smashed 'tatoes, and it was a heavenly delight. I haven't had gravy in a very long time, so I was thrilled to finally have a recipe I could make over and over and over again. It's one of those things I thought I would just never be able to taste again, now that I'm vegetarian, but it turns out I was very wrong. And I'm so glad I was. It tastes just like gravy made of animal fat, but with the delight of being critter friendly an...

Has anyone else found traditional wedding gifts to be kind of ridiculous? You know the ones: you're supposed to give tin or aluminum for the tenth anniversary, silver for the 25th anniversary, and so on. Because nothing says "Happy tenth anniversary" like a tin cup or aluminum can. To a certain degree, these gifts make sense. Paper for the first year: so the couple can finally finish writing their wedding thank-yous (ahem note to self) , and it's cheap for them to give to each other. But there's some bizarre stuff on that traditional list - I know they vary sometimes, but I'm going off of the one I found here . Honestly, no joking: the 32nd anniversary gift is conveyances. Like bicycles and automobiles. I guess that's why it's the 32nd anniversary and not the 52nd, because they might have needed to add wheelchairs to the list at that point. The modernly devised anniversary gifts aren't much better. Rather than paper, that list starts out with clo...

The answers and suggestions everyone gave me after last Friday's post added up to a resounding, "Yes, you should eat the bacon. Go for it. You will not be a cheater-pants." So, still weighing the question in my mind, I went to the local health food store, where I stared at the meat in question, pondering what friend Sandy asked: would I be happy with myself for eating a former pig, or would it weigh on me too much? As I pondered my inner happiness (while gazing at raw meat), coworker Vera (whom I call Auntie) came up to me. Surprise! "That's really good," she said, pointing to the object of my confusion and desire. "I had some a while ago." Pause. "Why are you looking at meat?" I explained my predicament, and she left me in peace to make my decision. After a bit more pondering, I considered my reasons for going vegetarian. 1.) Factory farms/butchers are unnecessarily cruel to animals, who live and die in horrible conditions. The pig that ...

Though it is not graphic, this post discusses humane and non-humane animal slaughter. You have been warned. A couple of weeks ago, I found some bacon. Not Facon (fake bacon) but real bacon. I kind of want to eat it. It's produced by Applegate Farms, and the packaging proclaims that it lets the pigs have their self-imposed hierarchy and social organization - pigs are very smart, complex animals, and most farms cause them great distress by splitting them up and not letting that social order fall into place. They're also never given antibiotics (unlike farms that pump animals full of them every day) and are fed a natural grain diet (instead of being fed other animals). The only question their packaging and their website didn't answer for me was about their slaughter methods. They seemed likely to have humane slaughter methods in place, but I wanted to be sure. So I emailed them. And I didn't hear back for weeks. Earlier this week, I finally did. "Our standards include...