Deviant Dispatches

In December, I had not one, but two Christmases ... Baked dozens and dozens of cookies ... Visited my wonderful grandparents ... And other family ... Got to meet my nephew ... ... And watched my sister graduate. It was a lovely way to end the year. I have high expectations for 2014, which is going to beat the pants off of 2013 - and if it doesn't, I will beat the pants off of 2014.

Over the weekend, Spousal Unit and I had Christmas with his family. Unfortunately, the gifts for his parents were on "backorder" (i.e., in the mail), so we improvised with a couple of CDs. The idea J went with for his dad was pretty cool: songs that refer to the Beatles. Surprisingly, some of the best ones he found are country-esque, such as I Saw It on TV by John Fogerty and She Likes the Beatles by William Clark Green. This all meant that Jack was the only one who got a complete gift, though I have to say it was the coolest gift I gave this year. Zelda 3-ring plaque and Triforce gauntlets ! We took a really good family picture, because we're dashing people. Then we had an overpriced, comically awkward dinner sitting far too close to an incredibly quiet couple (which I don't fault them for) who made this Italian family feel like they had to be quiet in return - something that doesn't happen often. Luckily, Spousal Unit and I were able to laugh inw...

Sunday was cookie day. Sandy, Kaelin, and I baked all day and ended up with 12 batches of cookies for us to split and take home. It was delightful fun. We made: Orange Cardamom Biscotti Snickerdudes for the Masses Jam Shortbreads Chocolate Mint Surprises Almond Crunch Sugar Cookies Orange Snaps M&M cookies Cranberry Orange Pinwheels Viennese Hazelnut Cookies Peanut Butter Blossoms Nutella cookies  Gingersnaps The gingersnaps had a kid in their class who wasn't very smart. Action shot! Rescuing the bowl from Death by Floor. We laid all the cookies out to count, and only now am I realizing that we were missing the Nutella and Chocolate Mint Surprise cookies. So the actual number of cookies per person was more like 225. Amazing. We rock.

The cats haven't terrorized the tree too badly yet; it's been knocked over once, but it only fell halfway, thanks to a nearby chair, and nothing fell off of it. One ornament has been broken, but it wasn't sentimental, and it was a small enough break that it's not noticeable by anyone who isn't as freakishly detail-focused as me. Mostly, they like to sit under the tree, peering out at us one-lifed creatures. Somehow, I feel like we don't have as many surface-dwelling decorations as we did last year. No boxes are missing; I think we might just have more surfaces. So I'm making do by spreading them thinly between rooms until I can find a good Christmas sale. I like my decorating style.

Christmas is coming! Who's ready to go caroling? Captain Picard sings "Let it Snow" Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al Yankovic Anyone need to decorate the tree yet? To: Jabba, Love: Boba ( more geek decor ) Um ... what? Brought to you by The Morning: It's short, and I'm out of time!

Last weekend was good stuff. I cuddled my kitties. My mom came to town - we went shopping, had tea, and got crafty (and if you were wondering, this is where I get it from). We saw horribly, terribly, gaudily ugly Christmas sweaters by the pound, way too early in the season. We ate Cheeseburgers in Paradise  ... ... And crazy drinks to go with them. All Spousal Unit ordered was lemonade  and it came like this. Mom had a Mai Tai! We were all confused about their hiring tactics. Not sure what an "ass host" is. One of the best parts for Mom was seeing the huge tree lit up in Greenway Station. (But don't tell Neal.)

Yesterday, a Dairy Queen opened on our route home. For their grand opening, they were having half-price cakes. Spousal Unit and I were thrilled to see this on their obnoxiously flashing billboard. We immediately decided we needed a holiday to celebrate - and, of course, didn't end up deciding until we were there the next day to pick up the cake. Our choice of celebration would determine what color we chose and what we had written on the cake. Spousal Unit abhorred the idea of Blue Spirit Day, since we already had Avatar Day . (Shame on him - the Blue Spirit rocks.) "Maybe we could have Firefly Day," I suggested. "We could get a yellow cake and have 'Shiny' written on it. Or we could get an orange one and have something about a very fine hat put on it." Spousal Unit wasn't fond of those ideas. "So our options so far are Firefly, Star Wars, and Star Trek." "Star Wars already has a holiday - May the Fourth ," I pointed out....

I always have a hard time figuring out what to make for big holiday dinners - namely, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Their traditional main dishes are meat, whether it's ham or lamb, turkey or fish. Obviously, those are all out of the question, so what's a vegetarian to do? Fondue. At least, that's what I did this year, along with vegetarian sushi. My meatatarian in-laws loved it (at least, that's what they're saying, and I have no desire to question them further). For the fondue, I found a bag of pre-shredded fondue cheese, a mix of Emmentaler and Gruyere. The bag was only 12 ounces, which turned out to be a perfect first course for five people. But it was $14 for that little thing. Ever the thrifty one, I thought surely buying the cheese in brick form would be cheaper... but no. An 8-ounce brick of Gruyere was $12, meaning ounce for ounce, the pre-shredded stuff was cheaper. On top of that, it was less work for me. I've read in various places that ...

As usual, it's been a crazy holiday - in a good way, of course. There was lots of photobombing... Photo by mi madre Some pig squeezing... Accidental color coordination... An alcohol-induced incident of butter molestation that everyone seems reluctant to discuss... ...and the best series of pictures depicting gift excitement that I've ever taken. What was the best part of your Christmas?

Last weekend at the in-laws, I had fun taking artsy photos of Christmas stuff. Yesterday in the blizzard, I had a different kind of fun. Spousal Unit and I tried to make a snowSpock on our deck, boldly going where no snowman has gone before. Unfortunately, it ended up looking more like a female snoworc. About halfway through the storm, we decided to clean off the car so there would be less to do in the morning. I think we cleared off at least a foot, and by the time we were done and had shoveled around the car, there was another half an inch on it already. After an unsuccessful walk to the grocery store (in that the store was closed), we huddled inside to eat potatoes and gravy and hang some pictures on the wall. It was a good snow day.

For those of you who are excellent procrastinators and like to send Christmas/holiday cards at this time of year, I have a treat for you. But I'm short on time, so we're going to be snappy about this. Fox in the Snow by sleepingfoxstitchery  This little guy is just adorable. Snowflakes With Peace Signs by HeartstringCards How the holidays should be celebrated.   Sphynx Hanukkah by TheOtherMothers Okay, these guys are slightly creepy. Zombie Santa Holiday Card by MonkeyMinion  Never mind. Zombie Santa is creepier. Christmas Santa Skull Card by HorseAndHare  This guy is just awesome. Assorted Card Pack by CMSStationery A good one for fans of Elf. Christmas TARDIS With Titanic by UnciaCrafts Who wouldn't love a TARDIS for Christmas? Especially wearing a Santa hat.

Some people get sick of listening to the same five versions of White Christmas or Jingle Bells every holiday season - especially those who have to listen to it at work, where there is no hiding from the terrible renditions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town (which would be better if they kept the industrial rock thing going). There are a lot of unique Christmas songs out there that I really enjoy, and in years that I've listened to the same three CDs over and over at work, I cling to any holiday tune that doesn't make me want to barf. The season just isn't the same if the music you put on for tree decorating is the same stuff you listened to twenty times that day. Which is why I present the following list of tunes that are easy on your barf reflex. The Muppets are always a sure bet that you'll have something to laugh at instead of cry about. Coldplay has several Christmas songs, including Christmas Lights - a song they wrote, with an awesome music video. Ma...

This weekend, Spousal Unit and I went to my mom's to help pick, cut, and decorate their Christmas tree. As I rambled to him about the awesomeness of Lowes Creek Tree Farm, he stopped me and asked, "Wait, is this one of those things that was really awesome when you were a kid, but now that you're an adult it's just a shack in the middle of the woods?" Nope. I remembered it well . We got a wonderful tree and visited the cabin, where I found the adorable birds above. Another gift I got for myself was some of my old stuff. One Kitten for Kim  by Adelaide Holl I loved this book when I was little. Not only does it feature a boy named Kim, but it's a detailed counting book with a chameleon. And, of course, seven kittens. My copy of the book has crayon all over it. In the boxes I hauled back home, I also found four or five cassette tapes full of happy music (the original recordings), pictures galore, and more Star Wars stuff than I will ever ne...