Deviant Dispatches

Over the weekend, Spousal Unit and I had Christmas with his family. Unfortunately, the gifts for his parents were on "backorder" (i.e., in the mail), so we improvised with a couple of CDs. The idea J went with for his dad was pretty cool: songs that refer to the Beatles. Surprisingly, some of the best ones he found are country-esque, such as I Saw It on TV by John Fogerty and She Likes the Beatles by William Clark Green. This all meant that Jack was the only one who got a complete gift, though I have to say it was the coolest gift I gave this year. Zelda 3-ring plaque and Triforce gauntlets ! We took a really good family picture, because we're dashing people. Then we had an overpriced, comically awkward dinner sitting far too close to an incredibly quiet couple (which I don't fault them for) who made this Italian family feel like they had to be quiet in return - something that doesn't happen often. Luckily, Spousal Unit and I were able to laugh inw...

Christmas is coming! Who's ready to go caroling? Captain Picard sings "Let it Snow" Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al Yankovic Anyone need to decorate the tree yet? To: Jabba, Love: Boba ( more geek decor ) Um ... what? Brought to you by The Morning: It's short, and I'm out of time!

Part I One of the coolest things about Bloodbuzz Ohio was in the theatrics. Behind the band, a screen depicted, for the most part, live video of  the band in abstract. But for Bloodbuzz, they used a feature that looked like blood cells creeping across the screen. The band was also cast in red by overhead lights, making them individual cells on stage to match the screen. Then, white light swept across the audience in a beautiful contrast. Aside from the fact that the lights were sometimes so bright that I had to close my eyes, the theatrics were wonderful. (No thanks to the idiot or two who started smoking during the concert. Inside the Orpheum.) Lead singer Matt, about halfway through, tossed a drink cup into the crowd. Between songs, one of the twin guitarists asked him about it. "It was a plastic cup," said Matt, "with a few drops of white wine in it. That's totally punk rock." He went on, pausing between each sentence. "They don't let me have...

Going Slightly Mad - Queen In the last few days, I feel like I've gotten a little crazier than usual. I've been researching viruses for the last several days, trying to understand them better so that I can write about them. The problem is, science was never my strong suit. I adore it beyond all reason, but I never got better than a B in most of my science classes. Another issue is probably in my methods - skipping from Wiki to Wiki in search of authentic sources in the reference list is a little ridiculous. I need to check out some books. My 40-hour work weeks have begun. Before this I was doing 35 a week, and that was full time. But the Mighty Overlords have put their backs into our floggings, and now I spend less time sleeping and more commuting during rush hour. I hate driving in the city.  People are idiotic behind the wheel. I do still love my job - I just didn't want to spend extra time loving it. Family matters are ... complicated right now. So I've al...

Happy belated Avatar Day! We celebrated Avatar Day on Father's Day this year (instead of the day before), so we decided to include Spousal Unit's father in on the fun by writing "Happy Avatar Day , Father Lord " on the cake. He didn't get it, but that's okay. A slice of virtual ice cream cake to anyone who does get it.

I don't buy Darth Vader's zero-to-evil-in-five-seconds shtick. Source A few minutes before the whole " slaughtering younglings " scene, Anakin Skywalker had turned Chancellor Palpatine over to the Jedi. He recognized Palpatine as evil and an enemy. (I just want to add that I hate the use of younglings instead of children - as if that makes this galaxy any cooler/farther away. They're freaking children , George Lucas. You don't need a new word for them.) Anyway. Anakin had questions, and he was confused, but he still had enough sense to recognize evil and right and wrong. Then suddenly, he makes his decision. Source I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is that when Palpatine says, "Time to go slaughter some kids so you can learn how to save your hunny-bunny," Anakin just says, "Okay." Even as a newly initiated Sith Lord - who earlier that same day turned in his friend for being an evil beeyotch - you...

A friend pointed out that I haven't posted sunset pictures in quite a while. This is partially because with the changing of the seasons, the sun has moved out of range in the evening. Much like the Death Star waited on Yavin, we at the Batcave now wait for the sun to move back in range. Or we could, you know, go outside . This sunset was the day of my friend's wedding. They are the same sunset.

Yesterday, I painted a bookshelf I found for $7. And the paint was free, too. The shelf used to be a dark brown shade, kind of sickly, and splattered with white paint in some places for no good reason. I decided it was my job to make this thing presentable and hella cool. The paint was from a coworker who had trouble finding the right shade for her kitchen - I chose two of the nicest-looking tans and went to work. I think it turned out pretty well... Or I did until I brought it inside. To my dismay, without natural lighting, this shade looks exactly like the ugly old radiators at my former high school. High School Radiator is a terrible bookshelf color. I do have a few other paint colors that I can splash around, though in much smaller quantities. Maybe it would help to paint the front of each shelf green. My big hope, though, is that it will be salvaged once I write book quotes all over it. So far I'm planning on quotes from Lord of the Rings , the Dark Tower ...

It's been a while since I provided you with a bunch of random links. Here you go.  - A look at what the things that don't kill you actually make you feel and do: What Doesn't Kill Me - Quotation marks in weird "places": Unnecessary Quotes - Some books do not belong in libraries. Others might be surprisingly awesome to discover: Awful Library Books - My friend Joe has been on a role with his blog posts lately! "Sexy and I Know It" Is a Great Song. Seriously. - Fonts can be annoying even if you're not a literary nerd: The Font Police - There's nothing quite like corresponding with your mom... Some of these made me laugh till I cried: Postcards From Yo Momma - I love these stoneware tea cups with a faux metallic glaze: Osaka Black Metallic Tea Cup - The Oatmeal has a great series of literary posters. I'd love to put these up at work: How to Use an Apostrophe

Yesterday, a Dairy Queen opened on our route home. For their grand opening, they were having half-price cakes. Spousal Unit and I were thrilled to see this on their obnoxiously flashing billboard. We immediately decided we needed a holiday to celebrate - and, of course, didn't end up deciding until we were there the next day to pick up the cake. Our choice of celebration would determine what color we chose and what we had written on the cake. Spousal Unit abhorred the idea of Blue Spirit Day, since we already had Avatar Day . (Shame on him - the Blue Spirit rocks.) "Maybe we could have Firefly Day," I suggested. "We could get a yellow cake and have 'Shiny' written on it. Or we could get an orange one and have something about a very fine hat put on it." Spousal Unit wasn't fond of those ideas. "So our options so far are Firefly, Star Wars, and Star Trek." "Star Wars already has a holiday - May the Fourth ," I pointed out....

I don't think I've ever blogged about religion, and I'm not about to start. (Despite the Buddhism book you see here.) Start Where You Are by Pema C hödrön Buddhism is a religion I associate closely with on a spiritual level, because it's about being nice to others and yourself. But I'm not Buddhist. I don't meditate, I don't believe the fables, and I don't pray to Buddha. But that doesn't mean I can't learn something from it. I've read before about people leaving little reminder notes for themselves around the house. I've seen them on bathroom mirrors - things that say, "Smile! You are beautiful." It seemed kind of cheesy to me, but after I started this book and found so many well-articulated sentiments in it, I decided to give it a try.  One of the sentiments in the early pages is, "Regard all dharmas as dreams." I always have a hard time grasping exactly what dharma is - no matter how many times I...

Today, I go back to work as usual. But today is different: I am no longer a temp. Today is my first day as a real employee. I've been temping for so long at this company (since October) and I've known for so long that I was going to be hired (a month) that in some ways, it feels like there will be no changes - except for the giant stack of papers I had to take home yesterday. Certain things will change in the way I allot my time; I will get benefits now, too - something I won't actually see change for a month or so. But the thing I'm most excited about right now is having an official email signature. Before, it was just my name. Now, I get to include my title and the company's name, too. Lamest thing ever. But I can't wait to send my first email this morning, just the same, because I'm thrilled and relieved to finally have a permanent job in the field I love. With all the perks. Source

At work yesterday, I had to deal with lots of future perfect tense. For those of you who are unaware, the future perfect tense goes something like this: At this time tomorrow, I will have been  attacked by velociraptors. Future perfect tense is used when talking about the future, but in a historical sense. I know - it makes my head hurt, too. Which is why, when I ran across a sentence with an extra verb in it, my head almost exploded. I couldn't figure out what to do with it for quite a while, and then I subverted the issue entirely by just removing the second verb. I was so pleased with myself for it that I came up with an excellent slogan. Copy Editors Will have been subverting future perfect since tomorrow Awesome, right? ...Okay, fine. It's excellent to linguists and writers. Everyone else is taking a step back to avoid having geek spilled on them.

Last night, I took up a new knitting project. I was thinking of a relative I haven't seen in a while, and I wanted to knit something to show I was thinking of her. Many might think that, in deciding on a string of knitted, stuffed hearts, I fell prey to corporate marketing . Many more might agree, as I chose pink alpaca yarn for this craft. Honestly, I was just throwing together something I thought this relative would enjoy. Nothing more. I admit to being a bit distracted as I worked. We were watching Alien . Yes, Alien . I have made a mental note to myself that scifi thrillers are not conducive to good knitting, at least on first viewing. I began the project (chosen from here ) with no problems whatsoever. The stitches fell into place easily; the instructions were easy to understand. But with all of the hosting and egg-laying and gnashing of teeth on the TV screen, I missed a vital step in knitting the first heart: I forgot to knit every other row without adding...

Last weekend at the in-laws, I had fun taking artsy photos of Christmas stuff. Yesterday in the blizzard, I had a different kind of fun. Spousal Unit and I tried to make a snowSpock on our deck, boldly going where no snowman has gone before. Unfortunately, it ended up looking more like a female snoworc. About halfway through the storm, we decided to clean off the car so there would be less to do in the morning. I think we cleared off at least a foot, and by the time we were done and had shoveled around the car, there was another half an inch on it already. After an unsuccessful walk to the grocery store (in that the store was closed), we huddled inside to eat potatoes and gravy and hang some pictures on the wall. It was a good snow day.

Spousal Unit and I have decided to decorate a room in our new apartment with a space theme. Only problem is, we don't have enough space-stuff for a whole room, so I've been browsing Etsy for awesome space art. I've found so much warp-speed/hyperdrive geekery that I just couldn't keep to myself. For example, surely you remember this moment from Star Trek: The Voyage Home . (Along with the whales. Who could forget the whales?) Scotty Hello Computer Star Trek Coffee Mug by sumotees  Best. Pun. EVER. Star Trek Spock Monkey Framed Art by DexMex   This iPhone case makes me wish I had an iPhone. Or just the iPhone case. Star Trek Inspired Spock Ear iPhone Case by CaseEnvy And who wouldn't want this lovely cross stitch at their bedside? Buy the pattern, and it will be transported straight to you. Star Trek Cross Stitch: Captain Picard - Set Phasers to Stunning by aliciawatkins I'm totally okay with decking a kid's bedroom out with...

This weekend, I went to the Memorial Library Book Sale with a group of friends. It's part of the Wisconsin Book Festival every year, and this was my first year attending. (Last year, when I was in the book business, I was required to work rather than go to it.) This book sale is terribly exciting because on the last day, you get to fill up as many bags as you can carry, and each one is only $4 (though some friends were charged $5 for an extra-large bag - still a great deal). At an event like this, when all the good stuff has been picked over in previous days, you don't expect to find much that you've been meaning to read, but you do always find some little treasures that make you squee in delight. Following are some of mine. Legends of the Ferengi by Quark, a.k.a. Ira Steven Behr  I'm excited about this one because I'm a geek (obviously), but especially because Spousal Unit and I have been watching lots of Deep Space Nine lately. I tried to get him to wat...

Last night, I tried to make falafel. I had a new recipe I wanted to try, one that eagerly proclaimed, "Falafel didn't have binding agents back in the day, so you don't need any now! Follow our directions and you will be amazed at how utterly disappointed you can get!" I'd really been hoping to have a nice dinner ready for Spousal Unit and I - it's fun to take full advantage of my days off and make something a bit more involved than usual. Along with the falafel, I had lots of CSA beets waiting to be nommed, so I decided on creamy mashed beets. Yes, beets and falafel don't really make a full dinner, but I started later than I wanted to, it was the only idea I had, and I was counting on Spousal Unit being full-ish from the work pizza party. So it was okay to make such an odd combo. As you might guess, after processing the falafel ingredients and heating a pan full of oil, four falafel balls fell to disgusting, chunky pieces before my eyes. Now I had a ...

Spousal Unit and I have been watching Empire of Dreams: The Story of the Star Wars Trilogy . One of the things that has most amazed me so far is the original concept art, done by Ralph McQuarrie, who passed away earlier this year. Source I'd seen his work before, but I didn't realize what an impact his work had on the films overall - some designs followed his paintings down to the last detail. I'd love to have a copy of any of his pieces, but especially the ones I've posted here. (Click to see all the brilliant detail!) Source Source Watching this documentary has somehow reminded me of an old knitting pattern I have, that I've never used. It's simple, and about time I made it: a knitted lightsaber. Source This particular lightsaber pattern is for kids and dogs, hence the odd handle-to-saber proportion. I will, of course, make an adult-sized one, so that it doesn't look so much like a... well, you know. Carbonscoring, the arti...

I'm not used to working a full week, but I'm in the midst of one right now. I don't usually complain about working a "whopping" 40 hours, and I know lots of people who work more than that in a week. But my leg and back pain, combined with moving and organizing an entire bookstore, results in a sore body and sore mind. I'm so done with thinking for the week, and it's only my Wednesday. What this means is I'm not planning to think too much the rest of the week, so here, instead of witty commentaries, dry banter, and sharp analyses, you're going to get mass ridiculosity. I hope you can tolerate that for a week - I sure as hell won't have a problem with it. For example... - Here's a thneed someone knitted. A thneed, as you know, is a thing that everyone needs . - A Silly Song, featuring Larry and some pirates - A few terrible tattoos and some wonderful ones A cat picture A knitted angler fish - And a totally hilariou...