Deviant Dispatches

Parenting so far has been an adventure in ups and downs. Strength and Weakness of Body My daughter's birth went well. I was healthy throughout pregnancy and she was born with no complications. I'm still amazed at the fact that after she was born - after birthing a freaking child - they gave me ibuprofen, and it was enough to manage the pain. My body makes food for my daughter while I'm busy doing things like taking pictures or cleaning poop off the floor. I was able to function week after week without REM sleep. That said, the first week was a trip. I don't deal well with lack of sleep, even now that I have a three-month-old. In the first week, I got so dizzy from lack of sleep and weird hours that I nearly fell over several times. It was enough to make me feel nervous about carrying her from room to room; thankfully, Spousal Unit was home during that time as well. I also got a painful infection, and later that month, I was sick enough that I had to get two l...

It's been busy at the abode. Spousal Unit turned 30; he threw me a surprise party; I turned 30. We gained a furnace and a fetus. Oberon had bladder and jealousy issues (he apparently doesn't like my new hormones). We discovered a wasp nest the size of a volleyball (abandoned) and the neighborhood trick-or-treating status (decent). Work has been insane for both of us, to the point where it's a perpetual madhouse. But we manage. The anxiety of having a room dedicated to the new stroller and baby clothes is balanced by the excitement of having finished the Tickle's first sweater (Spousal Unit named it; don't worry, that will change). Child's Placket-Neck Pullover by Joelle Hoverson The worry of whether I'm eating enough omega 3s is balanced by the joy of steak. (I promised myself I'd pay attention to my cravings in case they're saying something important. To quote Spousal Unit, the Tickle doesn't know I'm vegetarian and doesn'...

Our CSA through Circle M Farm has started up again, and it's been amazing. Every other Thursday when we pick up our box is like a delicious, strange Christmas - after three years, Spousal Unit and I are still surprised at some of the stuff that graces our kitchen. This year, we finally have a fridge big enough to house the fresh greens and produce. In past years, our tiny apartment fridges barely fit everything, and the tails of greenery would spill out of the sensitive crisper drawer and even hang out of the fridge door. Cramming everything in like that sometimes meant things went bad more quickly - there was no room to set a glassful of fresh herbs.  The benefits of our house keep surprising me. I've never needed more than a stove and a sink and a handful of fresh ingredients to cook great food and enjoy doing it. But it's a little more fun when you can move the teapot to a different counter instead of a different room to avoid oil splatters. I have more room to ...

Spousal Unit and I enjoyed a good, wholesome weekend with the family. Sorry, I mean a good, wholesome half hour. We were drunk for the rest of it. First things first: We went to Drammen Lutheran Church in Mondovi for a family reunion. I was excited to see some people I hadn't seen it a while. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, the reunion was over. All that was left to see was the church. That still worked for me - my great-great-grandpa who came over from Norway built this church. Here I am being silly in front of it. (I doubt he would have approved.) Then came the less wholesome and more fun part of the weekend. It wasn't spent at the bottom of red Solo cups, but it was close enough. I saw a cool barn door while drinking. You are all shocked to know there are barn doors in Wisconsin. Amazing camera point: This was taken in pitch dark. You can almost see a face peeking out of that window, can't you? But from there on out, the night w...

It was a busy weekend, but I have some great pictures to show for it! I went to my friend Liz's wedding, and it was gorgeous and fun and full of love. I saw friends I haven't seen in a long time. Spousal Unit rode a tractor. I took artistic photos of random stuff. (Or I tried to be artistic, anyway.) There was a gorgeous moon above a white farmhouse. And there was happiness. All of the greatest things for Liz's wedding. (I include the tractor in that, too.)

I've shared this xkcd a million times. Never gets old. When your 10:30 bedtime rolls around, you can say, "Nah... Time for another episode of Arrested Development." You worry about the little fuzzballs/poopers when you go away, but it's oddly satisfying that you have a little someone to worry about. Mama always said you could be whatever you want when you grow up. Turns out you're not limited to one choice! You can be an astronaut, a firefighter, and a teacher! (Though why would you ever quit being an astronaut ?) Learning doesn't stop after school is done. (Check out the Richat Structure !) Dancing to your favorite songs for half an hour is totally exercise. There are lots of fun ways to exercise as an adult... It's harder to make new friends as an adult, but you can pick your friends' traits, to a degree. Want to make friends with an artist? Take an art class . A marine biologist? Talk to the people who run the local aquarium . Yo...

Emerging Adulthood You can do whatever you want, whenever you want! ...But people look at you strangely when you make monkey noises at the post office. You can watch R-rated movies anytime. But if you re-watch any of your favorite childhood movies, you discover that they've magically stopped being awesome. It's like they've gone through puberty too. Your job gives you money. And you have to decide whether to spend it on a Darth Vader mask or on rent. (Often, it's not a choice. Your geeky stuff needs a place to stay, after all.) High school is over, but some people never evolve. They are stuck in high-school mode and force you to suffer through their personal, debilitating dramas. You can choose your own direction, but you do so at your own peril. There is no academic adviser to help you, and there are no save points to which you can return later. All of the video games and cool outfits in the world are right at your fingertips, without Mom there to tell y...

Hyperbole and a Half You never realized as a kid just how often dusting is necessary. Dust accumulates at the speed of light. Your energy reserves have been drained by the time you get home from a longer-than-usual workday. And now you have to go buy milk. Or toilet paper. Or something for the stupid potluck. $100 used to be a lot of money. Now, you spend six to ten times that amount just to live in a crappy apartment. With spiders. And a basement from hell. There are little things at your ankles that demand your attention and break all your awesome stuff. Some of them have fur. Others just poop a lot. You know what's actually in the food you buy now, but can't afford to buy something better for you. Something without cancer in it. Hey, that thing you were so carefully saving money for? The one you were only a few dollars away from buying? SURPRISE! Health care/car repair bill! No fun stuff for you. Just a muffler. And mufflers suck. You discover boxes of stuff...

Please to enjoy this picture of Spousal Unit. He is wearing the latest fashion in facial hair (yes, you read that right - you're behind the times). His mustache has reached the point where it's starting to curl up on the ends a little bit. The whole of it is called the McClellan , though Spousal Unit wishes me to say that he's "not emulating that jackass." In his hand, we see a frosty beverage known as beer. But this is not just any beer; it is a Mr. Beer beverage, lovingly brewed by this mustachioed man two to three months ago. Have a lovely Monday; I'm off to be a mover and a shaker. (Quite literally a mover - we're out of the temp office and work and back into the remodeled acid trip of a space. Hooray.)

When I was little and we went to my grandparents', coffee time was both something I loved and something that bored me. I loved it because that was when the homemade cookies came out - Sally Ann, chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin. In the hot summers, sometimes there was ice cream or popsicles, or even fresh strawberry shortcake. In the cold winter, there was warm apple crisp. Before I had sisters old enough to play with, I got bored with coffee time because the adults would sit around and talk. And talk, and talk, and talk, like there was nothing better in the world and they had endless things to say. Now that I'm older, I share that feeling (and even have coffee, on occasion). But at the time, as a four- or five-year-old, I couldn't wait to be excused so I could run downstairs and play. My grandparents had (and still have) the best places in the world for a kid to play. They have an orchard on the hill behind the house, a delicious garden out front, a creek across the ...

Source Dear Batcave , You have no idea how excited I am to become a superhero. Spousal Unit named both of the other places we've lived in (The Stick and The Pork Rind, respectively - and that was after  we became vegetarians). His tendency was to think of a ridiculous name as quickly as he could, so that the name would be second nature and I wouldn't have a chance at naming it something cool. I'm telling the truth here, Batcave : for the last year, I've lived in a place called The Pork Rind. I can't wait to live someplace less meaty. Here are my hopes for you, Batcave . I hope you'll provide a quiet environment with little highway noise. I hope you'll allow us to regulate the heat, so that we can be as cool as we want in summer and in winter (really - I like the heat on low in winter). I hope that our new neighbors will hate drama and, therefore, will spend less time standing out in the yard and screaming at 2 a.m. I hope you'll defe...

Who remembers the TV show Doug ? Furthermore, who remembers The Beets and their hit song Killer Tofu ? When we received our CSA a couple of weeks ago, it was full of beets. I'd never cooked them before, but I knew I wanted to create a dish to go with The Beets' song from the '90s. The primary spice I used in this dish was Chinese five-spice powder, a mix of ginger, anise, cinnamon, fennel, and cloves. It went perfectly with the mildly sweet flavor of the beets - mine came from an Asian foods store. When you use the beet greens, be sure to discard the stems and even de-stem a good portion of the leaves - the stems can be tough and bitter, and the sweetness is the best part of this dish. And when you cook the rice, rather than adding water, try some vegetable stock for flavor. Killer Tofu 5 medium beets, sliced 1/8 inch thick Greens of 5 beets, chopped 1 sweet onion, chopped 1/3 package of tofu, pressed and crumbled 5 egg whites or 3 whole egg...

Awesome things that have happened lately: I finished my bamboo shawl.  I love how the colors turned out – I was especially worried about the bind off, because I’d wanted to do it in all blue. Unfortunately, I ran out and had to resort to orange. But it ended up just fine that way. I got a gorgeous, almost brand-new jacket for $3.62 while hanging out in Milwaukee.  It’s exactly my style and exactly my size – the arms are even long enough, which is pretty unusual for me to find. It’s slightly padded, which means I’ll wear the hell out of it this fall. In the meantime, I’ve been prancing about in it at home, when the A/C is on, and being giddy over the cute little knots and the tiny guys in fishing boats. We visited Spousal Unit's family in Chicagoland for Father's Day. Everyone who's ever met Spousal Unit's dad says, "Oh. So that's  where he gets it from." So true. (In a good way, of course.) Last night, we w...