Deviant Dispatches

Warning: Mild blasphemy ahead. Though I maintain that God likes a good laugh. At the other end of our not-too-long apartment building, in the window of a dwelling we've never seen from within, stood a yellow kayak. The lights in this window were always on. A yellow substance was always there, leaning against the window and backlit in all its glory, a glowing blob of wonder for all on the street to see. Dear Kayak, we did not know what you were at first. You were formless and unfamiliar. But in time, we recognized your shape and magnificence. We began to say hello to it every night when we came home as we pulled in the driveway. Cries of "Hello, Kayak" and "Oh my God, there it is!" echoed through the car. We were in awe of its golden splendor and its eternal watchfulness on the brief road below. One day, it was gone. A stark white wall was all that shone in that window up above. We were shocked. Had the kayak left us for other climes, more worthy subj...

My tomato plants are doing wonderfully this year. I'm especially impressed because they're fairly large plants in the same relatively small pot, but they keep reaching higher, smelling fresher, and looking more vibrant. These are supposedly cherry tomatoes, but the one on the right is about an inch and a quarter in diameter already; I suspect I've ended up with regular tomatoes of some sort instead. I'm not complaining, though. We've had one of these sweet paste tomatoes already, and there are eight more almost ready to be sliced for salad or chomped outright. The plant continues to blossom, preparing for a second litter of fruit before the first is off the vine. This, at a time when we've just received an incredible scarlet (and verdant) harvest from the CSA. Sauce season is upon us; autumn draws nigh. * Title comes from the Pablo Neruda poem Ode to Tomatoes.  Like all Neruda, it is worth your time.

On Saturday night, the moon was nearing full, in clear view, and beautifully bright from our porch. But I noticed something strange as I came back inside and looked out the window at it: There were suddenly seven moons in the sky. This picture is completely unaltered. This is how the sky looked through the double panes of the window, pulled open to let fresh air in. The moon reflected in the panes somehow; they even changed positions when I did. Having seven moons might completely destroy the Earth as we know it, but man, it would be beautiful in the meantime.

I made bread from my new Pillsbury Healthy Baking Book . This particular recipe was for refrigerated yeast dough that can be used in four different recipes. I made herb biscuits. One set, I shaped with my own personal method: roll till they're round.  The other, I shaped using Julia Child's method: pull extra dough to the bottom, so that the bottom looks a little weird and lumpy, but the top has extra tension. (She explains it better, of course.) Skip to 51:50 for the segment on creating surface tension for dough. Among other things, I recently discovered awesome tree roots. I started a crochet project. I photographed some flowers. I photographed some sister. And I made a card for my niece's birthday. The swan decal comes from an old book poster that I cut up and saved, knowing Sophia would love a pink swan card when she got older. The "love" bit at the bottom is from a set of stamps. She is now five, which makes me...

On Saturday, in a fit of restlessness, I headed out to the nearest department store. It wasn't that I'd been inside all day; on the contrary, I'd been to the Madison physics museum and the grocery store earlier. It was more of a desire to get out on my own for a bit while Spousal Unit engaged with video games and action movies I wasn't thrilled with at the moment. And so I went on a meager adventure. I'd not planned to buy much; after all, that was not the point of the trip. As long as I was there, however, we did need a tablecloth to conceal the unsightly mess below the living room table. We also needed a second set of sheets (yes, we only have one). And then, I somehow ended up in the makeup aisle. I've been noticing my age, lately. Not to say I'm getting old; I don't believe that at all. But the cells in my body are slowing their rejuvenation , and along with that come aches I never used to have, a desire to stay in when it's snowy out, and...

Today, I'm working from home. Here's what I see out my window. Lots and lots of white, lots and lots of snow. Only the most desperate are out there now, as the flakes fly sideways into hapless trees and dimwitted rabbits. Yes, I may still be working today, but I get to do it in my pajamas, with Spousal Unit to distract me and a pot of tea at the ready. Maybe later we'll make cookies and watch a Christmas move. Or Big Bang Theory ; that would be good too. What are you doing for your snow day, if you have one?

I thought primroses were summer flowers, but mine are apparently very happy by the porch door. I have two blossoms and three more on the way. If only I'd known long ago that the key to gardening was giving up on the freakin' plants... Short post today because Spousal Unit is defending his thesis - wish him luck!

Behold: the basement. I must warn you - what you're about to see may shock and/or disgust you. Put aside the cereal bowl. As you can see, there are stains on the carpet from bodies being dragged downstairs. I can only imagine it's from the life juices seeping out of them. These crooked supports make me worry a little. Plus, you can't tell, but the lowest beams are only about six feet from the floor. (I left the date on these pictures just in case someone found my bludgeoned body and they were wondering when I was murdered. Hopefully, the murderer would leave the camera behind. Anyone who murders in this basement isn't after the camera, methinks. They're just after my sweet, sweet blood candies .) The gateway to the storage area. Note the storage room door, strategically removed from its hinges. Our lovely storage space. The wall spot on the left is a bit of graffiti; the streak in the corner is mold. Below the empty forklift skid is a hole i...

It wasn't long into our Vegas trip that I revoked Spousal Unit's camera privileges. Once we landed, I felt the magic pretty quickly. One might imagine this is how an acid trip feels: the hotel lobby was full of floating flower balls. (If you could even call it a lobby. They might prefer "atrium.") If that was impressive, I was completely floored by the view from our room on the 52nd floor. We could see forever. Including the Vegas we lived in for a few years, I've never seen a place where grass looks so ridiculous; the natural landscape is completely barren, so all the greenery is man-made. See the big patch of grass near the window? A golf course. $500 per game. We wandered the strip a little, and discovered some other cool things, like this siren motorcycle at Treasure Island... ...and a Sistine Chapel-esque ceiling at the Palazzo. Then the event we all came for: The Beatles Cirque du Soleil. We were not allowed to ...

I'm here to talk to you about a serious threat to men everywhere: pirate romances. Clearly, someone who went from vikings to pirates for her romance ideas only has worse things in store for men everywhere. Maybe it's the eyepatch that's speaking to me here, but it seems Connie Mason is only waiting for it to become a trend in the bedroom. Then she'll use pirate/viking magic to give them a reason for needing the eyepatch all the time. Also, pirates and vikings? Pretty much the same thing. Alright, so far as we can see, this guy doesn't have an eyepatch. But what the heck are these two doing on the same ship? The Pirate and the Puritan ? That's really the best Howe had in her arsenal: a pirate named El Diablo who is "notoriously sexy"? Sorry, if that was his only pirating skill, I have a feeling he'd be dead. And why is she wearing a tablecloth? Now, ladies and gents, may I present... ...Fabio. Yes, that Fabio. Who wrote three boo...

Yesterday, Spousal Unit and I visited Olbrich Botanical Gardens . They have a year-round tropical greenhouse (a.k.a. the conservatory), full of gorgeous birds and flowers. When we first arrived,  my camera fogged up from all the warmth and moisture. The birds, a volunteer explained to us, were particularly friendly yesterday, allowing people to come much closer than usual. Look carefully in this one for the quail's beak and eye. When Spousal Unit and I first saw them, they were darting through the undergrowth, and we thought they were kiwi birds. But no, they were quails. And I don't understand how someone could eat something that adorable. The coolest birds were definitely the waxbills, who were working on a nest near the orchids, high up in a corner. We sat while they flew around, building their nest, and they didn't mind our presence at all. They were so cool to watch that I had trouble getting a picture with Spousal Unit. Obviously, there wer...

And now, one of my favorite fall poems. It may be a bit early, but I love it all year, so I will share it now. Fall Wind By Aileen Fisher Everything is on the run - willows swishing in the sun, branches full of dip and sway, falling leaves that race away, pine trees tossing on the hill - nothing's quiet; nothing's still; all the sky is full of song: "Winter's coming. Won't be long."

Yesterday was beautiful and fun. Spousal Unit and I had pancakes, watched football, went to the arboretum, and ate delicious Indian food. A good way to spend a one-day weekend. Below is a leaf from the arboretum here in Madison. If you haven't been, it's beautiful. Leaves are changing, and the grasses are somehow very calming, both in color and in their hypnotic sway. Below that leaf is a picture of us, one of the best we've taken in quite some time. We are a handsome couple.