Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A Letter to the Weather

Dear Weather,

You are such a tease.

I see those clouds you put up in the sky this morning. Nice decorating, I've got to say, but unfortunately, I know they're all for show. You're a vain beast, Weather.

I wrote a letter last summer to your evil genius partner, The Heat. Not long afterward, he got the hint and chilled out for a while. How about you, Weather? A hundred degrees for a week straight? Come on already! All we're asking for here is some gentle rain for a few days - maybe at a temperature that won't make it evaporate before hitting the ground.

I know this might be a problem for you. Your close friend, Hell, has been visiting for weeks now. I know you like to make things comfortable for that wretched beast. But guess what? No matter what you do for that psycho, he'll still sell you out to Vader and make you work for the powers of evil. You'll be forced into cahoots with the Dark Side, and next thing you know, there's a wrinkled-ass Emperor bitching at you about the exhaust shaft you forgot to cover up. I've been there; I know how these things work.

You're better than that, Weather. You have such potential. You could train many little molecules in the ways of cool air currents, and you could teach hydrogen and oxygen about those very important three-ways called water. You could soothe this parched land and be a harbinger of Light, without burning everything in your path. It is possible.

But I still have a bad feeling about this, for some reason.

One of millions of crispified humans,

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