A Letter to the Weather




Dear Weather,

You are such a tease.

I see those clouds you put up in the sky this morning. Nice decorating, I've got to say, but unfortunately, I know they're all for show. You're a vain beast, Weather.

I wrote a letter last summer to your evil genius partner, The Heat. Not long afterward, he got the hint and chilled out for a while. How about you, Weather? A hundred degrees for a week straight? Come on already! All we're asking for here is some gentle rain for a few days - maybe at a temperature that won't make it evaporate before hitting the ground.

I know this might be a problem for you. Your close friend, Hell, has been visiting for weeks now. I know you like to make things comfortable for that wretched beast. But guess what? No matter what you do for that psycho, he'll still sell you out to Vader and make you work for the powers of evil. You'll be forced into cahoots with the Dark Side, and next thing you know, there's a wrinkled-ass Emperor bitching at you about the exhaust shaft you forgot to cover up. I've been there; I know how these things work.

You're better than that, Weather. You have such potential. You could train many little molecules in the ways of cool air currents, and you could teach hydrogen and oxygen about those very important three-ways called water. You could soothe this parched land and be a harbinger of Light, without burning everything in your path. It is possible.

But I still have a bad feeling about this, for some reason.

Sincerely,
One of millions of crispified humans,
Allison

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sally Anns and a Can of Spam

Image
Sally Anns are one of my favorite cookies. By their taste alone, they evoke a sense of home and comfort, reminding me of the kitchen at my grandparents' place and the simple happiness of mid-afternoon sweets. They're the only food that evokes the thought, This would be better with a cup of coffee. Making them was a good Easter activity, especially as I was stuck away from the family due to unpacking (the books are now free!) and yard work shenanigans (such as finding a dead mouse in the yard, which was lovely). With help from my mom, I found the recipe in the family cookbook (my great-great-grandparents are on the cover, and other awesome old pictures are scattered throughout). I decided that the transgression of buying a can of Spam (just once) was worth it for the sake of the cookies. Poke holes in the bottom of the can to allow for air flow. I didn't have enough butter for a full batch, but half of one made 18 Cookies of Unusual Size. I made the mistake of
Read more

Leavetaking by Eve Merriam

Image
Vacation is over; It's time to depart. I must leave behind (Although it breaks my heart) Tadpoles in the pond, A can of eels, A leaky rowboat, Abandoned car wheels; For I'm packing only Necessities: A month of sunsets And two apple trees. I'm packing today. What are you doing?
Read more

The Beatles' Help! Scarf

Image
Remember when I posted about making Beatles-themed crafts after seeing Cirque du Soleil's performance of Love? I've finished the first one. Here's a refresher of the original Help! scarf. Source And here's my version: a massive thing that I gave my sister for her birthday. In these shots, it's wrapped around her neck twice. I didn't measure the beast before I sent it to its new home, but it's probably about 8 feet long. Made with Caron yarn on size 8 needles, this tube scarf was 40 stitches in the round. Each block of color is 20 rows. The only tricky parts are getting a smooth transition between colors and what to do with the yarn ends inside the tube, but they are easy problems to solve. When you transitioning, knit a normal row with the new color, then pull tight the last stitch of the previous color. That last stitch shouldn't disappear entirely, but it will be close, and your problem will be solved. Then, because this scarf
Read more