Monday, July 18, 2011

We Can Work it Out (Even When We're Crabby)

This weekend, my beloved Spousal Unit came back from France, and we were absolutely horrible to each other.

Usually, we get along very well. Even when we're yelling at each other about something, it's with a teasing tone and we laugh and kiss and have done with it in a matter of minutes. And Friday was like that - we were disgustingly lovey, and Spousal Unit was crabby and tired but caught up in reunion nostalgia.

By Sunday, the tables had turned.

It didn't help that we drove back to Madison in 90-degree heat, the kind that raises the temperature of your cloth car seats so that your butt fuses to them when you sit down. The kind that makes AC obsolete if you're sitting in the sun. The kind that makes Spousal Unit decide that complaining about the heat will make it run away in fear.

Spousal Unit was still tired and jet-lagged, and didn't get to watch the soccer game, making him crabby. I was tired and not quite hungover from all the red wine Saturday night, but didn't feel my best. Plus, it was a weekend away from the reality of job searchyness and all the bills due at the end of the month, and Sunday was more than glad to slap me in the face as a reminder of what terrors awaited us back in the city.

Throw in Spousal Unit's repeated, "God it's awful outside," and we were absolute jerks to each other all day. This made for a pretty long car ride.

Times like that are bound to happen. We will have several more unbearable days like that before the year is out. That's what happens when you're with someone every day, month after month, year after year. It isn't all unicorn poop and rainbows.

In times like those, the true value of our relationship comes through. We can still work together toward a goal - even if it's just prepping the car for a three-hour drive - without taking each other's heads off completely. We still try to work through the problems we're having, even if we don't really know what they are. And we can still say I love you even if we're exasperated beyond all belief.

We always try to resolve things before bedtime, but it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes getting back on solid ground means a good night's sleep, a fresh perspective, and extra kisses in the morning.

Getting through days like those makes me confident we have many good years yet to come.

1 comment:

  1. Yup, that is how it is. But you have to remember there is always another side. His. And we need to remember times before them and that was not so good. Ya, we can deal with this so much easier. We all have our days, stresses to deal with. But in the end, you are together and that is what love is all about.


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