So let us stop, at least for this moment, to savor the day's momentousness, to acknowledge its contribution to our society and, in fact, the world.
Ladies and gentlemen: I present the anniversary of sliced bread.
First sold to the public on this day in 1928 (not 1924 as Wikipedia mentions at first), you can read about it here and here while I go off to my interview and cry about the fact that this entry used to be twice as long, and I lost the whole thing for some inexplicable reason. Don't forget to read about the sliced bread ban on the Wikipedia page.
Write to congress and help sliced bread get its day in the sun, which it so rightly deserves.