Spousal Unit insists that being forced to listen to nothing but Christmas music for eight hours straight - as many retail employees are - would be considered a form of Cruel and Unusual Punishment, by military standards. I agree, which is why we should at least switch it up a little, please. Managers, owners, head honchos: why not add these songs to your holiday play?
- 12 Days of Christmas by Bob and Doug McKenzie - Some of you may think this song is simply irreverent, inappropriate, or too ridiculous to be considered an actual Christmas tune. Au contraire, mon frere. This song provides enthusiasm for the holiday, and a broader cultural appreciation. People in Canada celebrate Christmas a bit differently from those in the U.S., and those variations are important to learn about. Plus, who has the patience for each of those days, anyway? We all have favorite verses; why can't we just sing our favorites? (And if everyone had a beer on Christmas, I'm sure it would be a much more relaxed holiday.)
- Someday at Christmas - Seriously, this is the message everyone should think about a little more at this time of year. Someday, there will be peace on Earth. It's not going to happen in our lifetimes, most likely, but that doesn't mean we can't try. This song gives us pause to consider things that can't be put under the tree - the far more important things. I especially love Jack Johnson's version, which I heard a week ago - at a Saver's, of all places. Way to play some good holiday tunes, Savers.
- You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Everyone loves this song, about the grinchiest Grinch there ever was. Why don't we hear it more? He has "all the lovingkindness of a seasick crocodile," a pleasant reminder to be in higher spirits than that at this time of year. Supposedly, it's not hard, as I doubt many of my readers have ever stolen Christmas presents. (Unless Mac of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia reads this.) Here's to less garlic and more candy canes in our souls.
- Carolina Christmas by the Squirrel Nut Zippers - This is one of the cheeriest tunes out there. We get a delightful big band sound, giving us some respite from the organs and sleigh bells and high-pitched soprano squeals. No children's choirs, no deep messages; this is just a chance to revel in the fun parts of Christmas.
- Here's a wild idea: how about we play a song that has nothing to do with Christmas? If we're going to practice any kind of religious tolerance and acceptance, shouldn't we listen to some Hanukkah songs too? Maybe The Hanukkah Dreidel song, or I Light It, which is an awesome Hanukkah version of Justin Bieber's song Baby (yeah, hard to believe, but it's awesome because it's not Bieber).