Things That Make Me Blush

I know what you're going to say. If I had a blog post designed entirely around that, it would stretch from here to the Andromeda Galaxy and back again, ten times, with enough left over to TP the neighbor's house.

No, I'm not talking about the hardcore things, like that time I accidentally insulted a former coworker or a customer waiting at the counter while I merrily pop bubble wrap in the corner. (Can you see my face burning brilliantly behind the screen?) This is a list of the things I love to indulge in - the guilty pleasures that I don't explicitly tell people because I usually pretend to be an adult. Or something like one. Sometimes.

Here are a few of the many:

• Those TV wedding shows. Especially the ones where the girls go shopping for their poofy white dress and the budget is "$5,000 if I really like it." Love them, but not for the reason you might think. I love watching these girls spend exorbitant amounts on chiffon and lace and freakin' crepe paper dresses because they're usually so ugly and so expensive and so impersonal that I just thrill in thinking, You're really spending that much on a dress?! I am so much better with money than you. Kind of snooty and mean, but at least I get it out via people inside the TV, whom I don't know and who don't know me.


• Climbing trees. I did it all the time when I was little, and I kind of miss it now. But every now and then, I itch for it so badly that I can't resist anymore. Who cares if I get holes in my pants? Who cares if the neighbor walking her dog gives me a weird look? Trees are my favorite. Being in them is better. And here's some hardcore tree climbing.


• Champagne. I like wine most of the time, and brandy's delicious when I need something cheap and strong. But I adore cheap, bubbly champagne. I'm talking on sale for $6 a bottle, with the bubbles that go up your nose on every sip and that terribly sweet fruity tinge. Few things are more satisfying that getting toasted without having to pay much. You know what kind of toasted I mean.


• Singing Disney in the car. Loudly, and off key. I especially love singing Just Around the Riverbend from Pocahontas and Reflection from Mulan. It's just fun.


• Fan fiction. This one is a really guilty pleasure. I like reading stories people make up about TV shows and movies, especially when novices get the characters down exactly. In other words, I never stopped playing make-believe, and I don't think anyone should. It can also be good writing practice. You may think it's an oxymoron, but there are some really good, intelligent fan fictions out there. Some. (It's a good way to get your romance fix without selling out to Harlequin, plus you can pick which characters you want to read.)


• Brandy (You're a Fine Girl). I don't care for the verses, but every time this song comes on, I turn it up. Why? Mostly just so I can sing "DOOOO DO DO DOOODO!" at the top of my lungs.


• Being completely unproductive. I can only do this for about an hour before I start getting antsy and looking around for something to clean or untangle. But every now and then, I put the knitting aside and just watch TV. Or browse the Interwebs for nothing in particular, until I'm satisfied that I've found it. (Rock Hero/Guitar Band doesn't count - you're working toward higher scores in the game!)

What do you think of the new layout? Share your thoughts with me - and your own guilty pleasures, if you'd like.