Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Romancing the ... Dinosaur?

Mom (and all others who don't care to read my thoughts on dino sex), steer clear today. There's some weird stuff happening up in here.

You all probably remember the terrible romance book covers I've posted in the past. I think those are all lovely in comparison to these over-the-top books.

Spousal Unit found these. Christie Sims writes dinosaur erotica. As in, woman-on-monster lovin'. I'm kind of horrified (but not really surprised) that this exists.

There is nothing sexy, attractive, or even remotely entertaining about interspecies relations when it comes to dinosaurs. Or even gryphons. Even that triceratops - that tiny, unrealistic triceratops - would maul you before he'd buy you flowers and take you dancing. Not cool. I prefer my romance with a little less death and stabbing.

There's also the issue of lingerie. If these women are randomly pulled back in time, where they somehow decide that sexy dinosaur time is their only ticket out of there alive, what are the chances that they were wearing "clothing" that nice? Pretty slim, I'd say (unless there happens to be a prehistoric lingerie store nearby, which I kind of doubt). If it was me, there's a 50-50 chance (or maybe higher) that I'd be caught in granny panties.

Not that I'd be showing them to dinosaurs. Ugh.

Some of these actually involve cavemen coexisting with dinosaurs - which sounds like creationism at its peak until you consider the tiny little minor detail of it being erotica. Some even include the tagline that this is "not your mother's erotica." There is nothing less sexy than that phrase.

Plus, this sounds like a terrible sequel to Liam Neeson and Ben Stiller movies.

Taken at the Dinosaur Museum

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