Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Ultimate in Stink Engineering

With the addition of two cats to our household, I've been noticing smells a lot more lately, which has made me want candles. I usually have a few on hand, but my winter stash of cinnamon and pumpkin scents is running low, so I want to explore for other delightful fragrances. Naturally, this makes me wonder what the stinkiest, most disgusting candles in the world smell like.

After smelling a few last night, I know I definitely hate mixed berry candles; I hate that combo as yogurt, and it would make me puke as a household scent. But the bacon candle might be worse.

If you want your house to smell like bacon, then make bacon. Simplest solution in the world.

This link talks about a series of candles designed to smell like New York at certain places and times in history. Some are meant to smell like tar and paint thinner. Unsurprisingly, the only ones still available in that series are the ones that don't make you want to die. (Though black pepper and grapefruit might come close.)

I picked up one last night called "Sea Grass." As far as candle names go, that one is horrible. It's a cross of eucalyptus and a hint of cucumber melon, with some mint thrown in, I think. Apparently, no one surveyed the manatees when they engineered it.

I personally can't stand anything vanilla scented. I'm good with the flavor in my food, but the candles smell like your kitchen caught fire and then threw up. Way too strong. And I've learned to love coconut milk in curry, but I hate actual coconut, which leads me to believe I'd also hate this Almond Joy scented candle.

I definitely know my preferred smells. Food candles apparently rank very low on my list.

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