Deviant Dispatches

In Washington, D.C., everyone's concerned with the fiscal cliff right now. Come midnight on January 1, congress will either put unsatisfactory measures (according to everyone, I'm sure) into place, or the entire country will jump off the cliff like short-sighted, drunken lemmings. I'm not terribly worried about what will happen; everyone puts things like this off until the last possible minute, and then there's a cave-in by one or both parties. Even if that doesn't happen this time around, I still have a (personally) more pressing worry on my mind: that the fiscal issues we're facing will make lawmakers lose track of goals related to the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings in Connecticut. Here's what most concerns me. This is already a politicized issue. It was politicized within days of the shooting. Fine; such is life in this, our U.S. democracy. There appear to be two sides: people are either for stricter gun control, or they are for better, more acc...

Source I've been trying to write an important blog post all week. I keep pushing it off because it's a really dense, heavy topic that needs to be done well, and I haven't had adequate time to get it out there. So here's the plan: you love the hell out of this picture, pretend I posted something absolutely amazing, and I will reward you all with a deep, insightful post next week. How's that sound? I'm off to tidy the kitchen. Adventures in daily living... hooray.

I always have a hard time figuring out what to make for big holiday dinners - namely, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Their traditional main dishes are meat, whether it's ham or lamb, turkey or fish. Obviously, those are all out of the question, so what's a vegetarian to do? Fondue. At least, that's what I did this year, along with vegetarian sushi. My meatatarian in-laws loved it (at least, that's what they're saying, and I have no desire to question them further). For the fondue, I found a bag of pre-shredded fondue cheese, a mix of Emmentaler and Gruyere. The bag was only 12 ounces, which turned out to be a perfect first course for five people. But it was $14 for that little thing. Ever the thrifty one, I thought surely buying the cheese in brick form would be cheaper... but no. An 8-ounce brick of Gruyere was $12, meaning ounce for ounce, the pre-shredded stuff was cheaper. On top of that, it was less work for me. I've read in various places that ...

As usual, it's been a crazy holiday - in a good way, of course. There was lots of photobombing... Photo by mi madre Some pig squeezing... Accidental color coordination... An alcohol-induced incident of butter molestation that everyone seems reluctant to discuss... ...and the best series of pictures depicting gift excitement that I've ever taken. What was the best part of your Christmas?

Last weekend at the in-laws, I had fun taking artsy photos of Christmas stuff. Yesterday in the blizzard, I had a different kind of fun. Spousal Unit and I tried to make a snowSpock on our deck, boldly going where no snowman has gone before. Unfortunately, it ended up looking more like a female snoworc. About halfway through the storm, we decided to clean off the car so there would be less to do in the morning. I think we cleared off at least a foot, and by the time we were done and had shoveled around the car, there was another half an inch on it already. After an unsuccessful walk to the grocery store (in that the store was closed), we huddled inside to eat potatoes and gravy and hang some pictures on the wall. It was a good snow day.

Today, I'm working from home. Here's what I see out my window. Lots and lots of white, lots and lots of snow. Only the most desperate are out there now, as the flakes fly sideways into hapless trees and dimwitted rabbits. Yes, I may still be working today, but I get to do it in my pajamas, with Spousal Unit to distract me and a pot of tea at the ready. Maybe later we'll make cookies and watch a Christmas move. Or Big Bang Theory ; that would be good too. What are you doing for your snow day, if you have one?

This weekend, we went to Chicago for the veterans' parade. I was amazed at how many floats, bands, and families marched in this thing. In the rain. The gentleman in the motorized chair, following the motorcycle brigade, is carrying a hand-colored American flag on a piece of computer paper. It was neat to see them take down the gigantic flag at the end of the parade. They put it straight in the clear bucket so it wouldn't touch the ground. But the man who totally won at parade watching was the Puerto Rican guy. He has a Puerto Rican flag around his neck like a cape, and he said thank you to every person who marched by. Many soldiers (who I'm guessing were either friends or also Puerto Rican) stopped to take pictures with him. After, we went to a delightful little bakery called Toni's . They had awesome cookies.

Remember when I posted about making Beatles-themed crafts after seeing Cirque du Soleil's performance of Love? I've finished the first one. Here's a refresher of the original Help! scarf. Source And here's my version: a massive thing that I gave my sister for her birthday. In these shots, it's wrapped around her neck twice. I didn't measure the beast before I sent it to its new home, but it's probably about 8 feet long. Made with Caron yarn on size 8 needles, this tube scarf was 40 stitches in the round. Each block of color is 20 rows. The only tricky parts are getting a smooth transition between colors and what to do with the yarn ends inside the tube, but they are easy problems to solve. When you transitioning, knit a normal row with the new color, then pull tight the last stitch of the previous color. That last stitch shouldn't disappear entirely, but it will be close, and your problem will be solved. Then, because this scarf ...

For those of you who are excellent procrastinators and like to send Christmas/holiday cards at this time of year, I have a treat for you. But I'm short on time, so we're going to be snappy about this. Fox in the Snow by sleepingfoxstitchery  This little guy is just adorable. Snowflakes With Peace Signs by HeartstringCards How the holidays should be celebrated.   Sphynx Hanukkah by TheOtherMothers Okay, these guys are slightly creepy. Zombie Santa Holiday Card by MonkeyMinion  Never mind. Zombie Santa is creepier. Christmas Santa Skull Card by HorseAndHare  This guy is just awesome. Assorted Card Pack by CMSStationery A good one for fans of Elf. Christmas TARDIS With Titanic by UnciaCrafts Who wouldn't love a TARDIS for Christmas? Especially wearing a Santa hat.

Summer and Bird by Katherine Catmull I have this book, and am already more than halfway through it. I love it. It's a young adult fantasy (or possibly middle reader, depending how mature the middle reader is). I'm sure the author's had lots of jokes made for being named Kat Cat and writing a bird book. She does a lovely job of it. The story starts with sisters Summer and Bird at home. The setting is modern day, and the girls' mother is always telling them stories and singing songs about birds. Surprise of all surprises, Bird, 9, wants to be a bird, which irritates her big sister a little, who knows better at the ripe age of 12. Summer thinks it's silly, until they wake up one morning and their parents are gone. They learn that their mother used to be the queen of all birds, before her feather robe was stolen. The girls follow her into Down, where birds can talk and all their mother's stories come to life. Catmull has a beautiful writing style, ak...

Ladies and gents: a metaphor. The sunrise was beautiful this morning. I looked straight ahead, to the usual place (you know,  east ) and zoomed in. Luckily, I also happened to catch the rest of the sunrise out of the corner of my eye. It was so much more beautiful than I'd originally thought. The lesson for the day: take a step back and view the big picture now and then, rather than focusing on the little stuff. The big picture may not be as horrifying as you thought. This lesson brought to you by the sun and Ms. Bitters , one of whom is a better teacher than the other.

Dal is one of my favorite Indian meals. It's pretty much composed of beans and water, making it ridiculously easy to cook, and you can add anything you want to make it flavorful. Unfortunately, I also forget how easy it is, and then forget to make it again for a long time. Now that I've written down this recipe, that won't be happening. Spousal Unit and I were feeling very tired last evening after some marginally successful Christmas shopping. We were happy with all the snow we got, but chilled, too, and the only idea I had for dinner was jasmine rice. (Seriously, we were just going to eat jasmine rice for dinner.) Then I remembered the red lentils I bought, and a meal was born. It was the perfect follow-up to a game of Scrabble, and it warmed us, woke us up, and gave us energy to cheer the Packers to their 22nd victory over the Lions at Lambeau. As with many Indian dishes, I highly recommend topping this with garam masala, a spice mix that adds just the right flavo...

Some people get sick of listening to the same five versions of White Christmas or Jingle Bells every holiday season - especially those who have to listen to it at work, where there is no hiding from the terrible renditions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town (which would be better if they kept the industrial rock thing going). There are a lot of unique Christmas songs out there that I really enjoy, and in years that I've listened to the same three CDs over and over at work, I cling to any holiday tune that doesn't make me want to barf. The season just isn't the same if the music you put on for tree decorating is the same stuff you listened to twenty times that day. Which is why I present the following list of tunes that are easy on your barf reflex. The Muppets are always a sure bet that you'll have something to laugh at instead of cry about. Coldplay has several Christmas songs, including Christmas Lights - a song they wrote, with an awesome music video. Ma...

I was thrilled to see this outside my window this morning - a hot pink streak of awesome. Shortly after this picture, the sunrise faded and the sky became a mere gloom-filled expanse of clouds, from one horizon to the other. But I'm carrying this memory with me today, because I have to have something. Other happy thoughts that will carry me to the weekend: Tea with a good friend at my favorite tea house this weekend. Staff lunch tomorrow - the only time of month I get to actually talk to my coworkers. (All the rest of the time we're just grammar freaks.) The Christmas tree is up, so all I have to do to fill a room with a cozy, comforting glow is flip a switch. There is still more Christmas to hang up, including some pretty blue lights. Spousal Unit and I don't have to travel out of town this weekend - we can spend most of it relaxing at home. Snow is forecast for Sunday - even if it's only a 50 percent chance, I'm going to cross my fingers for a snowy S...

Fabio! Nothing says lovin' like a cat. Which is why I wasn't at all surprised to find this. Heart Mate by Robin D. Owens Clearly, the cat with the emerald necklace is here to help this poor sucker out. What woman wouldn't fall for a guy with a walking stick, a heart-shaped necklace, and a cat? I mean, if he's got those first two but no cat, that's a deal breaker for me. You know what they say: the cat makes the man. Her Last Fling by Jana Mercy You know what this cover says? The publisher was clearly thinking, "I'm tired of conventional romance covers. None of them ever feature a plastic cow. Why not, I ask you?" Kudos to that guy if any of these books sold. Check out this site for awesome captions to this cover. Let Me Come In by Linda Jones Ah, a clever play on the three little pigs fairy tale here. Very nice - the man in the cover represents the hungry wolf. Except "let me come in" doesn't exactly scream...

This weekend, Spousal Unit and I went to my mom's to help pick, cut, and decorate their Christmas tree. As I rambled to him about the awesomeness of Lowes Creek Tree Farm, he stopped me and asked, "Wait, is this one of those things that was really awesome when you were a kid, but now that you're an adult it's just a shack in the middle of the woods?" Nope. I remembered it well . We got a wonderful tree and visited the cabin, where I found the adorable birds above. Another gift I got for myself was some of my old stuff. One Kitten for Kim  by Adelaide Holl I loved this book when I was little. Not only does it feature a boy named Kim, but it's a detailed counting book with a chameleon. And, of course, seven kittens. My copy of the book has crayon all over it. In the boxes I hauled back home, I also found four or five cassette tapes full of happy music (the original recordings), pictures galore, and more Star Wars stuff than I will ever ne...

Source I failed pretty severely at NaNoWriMo this month, and I've therefore failed at goal number 7 - finishing the novel by the end of the year. Yes, I still have a month left. But if November was any indication, I'll get a maximum of 2,691 words written next month. Which is not anywhere near enough to finish the whole novel. I'm disappointed, but I'm also trying to be lenient on myself. Many of those days were spent on out-of-town ventures, and shortly after the New Mexico trip, I was run over by the depression train. It faded into the distance after a week, but I'm in recovery, which means I still feel the pain of it in one or two ways. The last phase of depression is clinging to me in the form of novel apathy. I have no doubt that I'll pick it up again; I'm in the exciting part of the novel, and I have faith in the storyline. I just have to get back the part of me that cares about those things. It will come when I'm ready, but these things ...

Source Dear Spousal Unit, Please explain why you delight in tormenting me. We have been married for almost two years. This should not happen for another year or two, I'd think. Spousal Unit, let me explain something to you about the movie The Shining . It's about a writer and his family, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cold and snow. It's about the writer's descent into madness and his attempt to kill everyone around him. In short, it's not a family film. Let me be blunt: that movie draws a close parallel to our current lives. Do you  really  want to put that poster in the room where I plan to write? It not only sounds like a foolish idea, but a dangerous one. I'm already teetering on the edge of socially acceptable behavior; do you want to push me over entirely? On second thought, don't answer that. True it may be, that you'd hang that terrible memorial to insanity, rage, and supernatural revenge in the library's hallway, w...

We've had some good light action in the last week or so. Here are three different instances of that: two sunsets and a sunrise. The last one is from this morning. See what you missed while you were brushing your teeth? Let this be a lesson to you: dental hygiene leads to... um... nothing, if you don't let the sun shine on your pearly whites. Anyway. Have a happy day.