Deviant Dispatches

Over the weekend, Spousal Unit and I had Christmas with his family. Unfortunately, the gifts for his parents were on "backorder" (i.e., in the mail), so we improvised with a couple of CDs. The idea J went with for his dad was pretty cool: songs that refer to the Beatles. Surprisingly, some of the best ones he found are country-esque, such as I Saw It on TV by John Fogerty and She Likes the Beatles by William Clark Green. This all meant that Jack was the only one who got a complete gift, though I have to say it was the coolest gift I gave this year. Zelda 3-ring plaque and Triforce gauntlets ! We took a really good family picture, because we're dashing people. Then we had an overpriced, comically awkward dinner sitting far too close to an incredibly quiet couple (which I don't fault them for) who made this Italian family feel like they had to be quiet in return - something that doesn't happen often. Luckily, Spousal Unit and I were able to laugh inw...

Dear Target, You suck at shipping. Other things too, but I'm sticking with shipping for now. Every year for Christmas, my family does a Secret Santa thing, because we are enormous and our wallets are tiny. This year, Spousal Unit drew the name of my sister Rachel, who wanted a popcorn popper. I dutifully went to my local Target store in search of this delightful contraption, only to find it wasn't on the shelves; alas, I would have to order it online. (Target, you may be wondering why I was the one to do this, instead of Spousal Unit. The answer, Conglomerate Retailer of Doom, is that this is how things work in our household and you should mind your own business.) When the package arrived - in a relatively short time, I might add - I only saw it from behind at first. But one thing was clear: it was shipped in its box with a thin piece of plastic around it. Nothing else adorned its cardboard sides. Target, you sad, strange little chain. I'm a fan of sa...

My sister Laura graduated over the weekend. I am super proud of her. The family (plus support system) had dinner and drinks together the night before in celebration. I had the strongest hot toddy on the planet, modeled here by the lovely Spousal Unit. I managed to get a picture that perfectly describes Laura's relationship with her daddy. The next morning, we made the quick, joyous trip downtown for the ceremony. Except that the trip was neither quick nor joyous; we were in the middle of a delightful Wisconsin blizzard, and despite the plows having gone by shortly before we left, it was a slippery, treacherous trip, surrounded by idiots on four wheels and nary a patch of sand in sight. After some delightful fishtailing, however, we made it to our destination and watched our gal Sunday be honored for four and a half years of hard work to receive two incredible degrees. Check out the cool glasswork on the walls behind us, too! She has her whole future ahead of he...

The last couple of weeks have been rough. I'm in the middle of a tough bout with depression; I'm sure it's mostly based on the lack of sunlight. I was so excited for last weekend's solstice - almost more excited than I am for Christmas, because now the days will start getting longer, and I need my sunlight. I'm whatever the opposite of a vampire is. I've had issues with seasonal affective disorder in the past, but it seems especially bad this year (I'm a bad judge of this, though - I always forget how terrible it was to adjust to a move, or the last time I felt depressed). I have not worked on the novel in more than a month. I have not written at all since my last blog post, which was about how tired I've been feeling. I have not been reading either. All of you who know me know what a big deal all those things are to me. I've also been very tired, despite getting plenty of sleep, and highly irritable (poor Spousal Unit). I'm sharin...

Some days, I wake up tired. Tired of the day-to-day. Tired of eight hours, commutes, tiny unsolvable word problems. Tired of not being able to do it all at home. Some days, I'd rather stay in bed. Tired of cats knocking over plants, clawing carpet, biting the beads off of my skirts, using my hands as a launch pad. Tired of cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Tired of The Voice in my Head that says it's not good enough, you have to keep going, you have to do more, or else. Some days, I don't want to move for weeks. Tired of depression. Tired of bad feelings ambushing me on a beautiful day. Tired of little things making me into a Midwestern Hulk. Tired of remembering my faults for years on end. Some days, the sunrise takes that all away. On days when it doesn't, there's always poetry .

Sunday was cookie day. Sandy, Kaelin, and I baked all day and ended up with 12 batches of cookies for us to split and take home. It was delightful fun. We made: Orange Cardamom Biscotti Snickerdudes for the Masses Jam Shortbreads Chocolate Mint Surprises Almond Crunch Sugar Cookies Orange Snaps M&M cookies Cranberry Orange Pinwheels Viennese Hazelnut Cookies Peanut Butter Blossoms Nutella cookies  Gingersnaps The gingersnaps had a kid in their class who wasn't very smart. Action shot! Rescuing the bowl from Death by Floor. We laid all the cookies out to count, and only now am I realizing that we were missing the Nutella and Chocolate Mint Surprise cookies. So the actual number of cookies per person was more like 225. Amazing. We rock.

The cats haven't terrorized the tree too badly yet; it's been knocked over once, but it only fell halfway, thanks to a nearby chair, and nothing fell off of it. One ornament has been broken, but it wasn't sentimental, and it was a small enough break that it's not noticeable by anyone who isn't as freakishly detail-focused as me. Mostly, they like to sit under the tree, peering out at us one-lifed creatures. Somehow, I feel like we don't have as many surface-dwelling decorations as we did last year. No boxes are missing; I think we might just have more surfaces. So I'm making do by spreading them thinly between rooms until I can find a good Christmas sale. I like my decorating style.

Christmas is coming! Who's ready to go caroling? Captain Picard sings "Let it Snow" Christmas at Ground Zero by Weird Al Yankovic Anyone need to decorate the tree yet? To: Jabba, Love: Boba ( more geek decor ) Um ... what? Brought to you by The Morning: It's short, and I'm out of time!

Source My apologies at this extended hiatus, and at the general lack of blogginess in the last few weeks. I've had some kind of awful bug that started with a hoarse voice, interimed with a cold, and seems to have settled on an unconsolable sore throat. Today features yet another doctor's visit so that I can do little things like eat oatmeal  without getting a lecture from my tonsils against ingesting things that feel like this. Source See you soon, I hope.

Some days begin more slowly. The morning arrives like a thing on wheels, an apocalyptic engine heralding the day's doom. Plodding through sleepy, cracked eyelids to see early winter's dark gloom is the first unjustice; bitter floor that shocks warm feet is the second. Perhaps the day goes on like this. A shoelace breaks. The ice on the windshield has strong fortifications, and you're already running late. You're convinced the commute is one sentient being, rising up against your well-meaning rush to crush what little spirit is left. And the work day hasn't even begun. So the day might continue indefinitely, until you lie down to sleep again, exhausted. But perhaps there's something there, something early on, that breaks through the crust of disgruntlement you've used to shield against bombardment. Perhaps all you really needed was one bit of glory--one moment of peace.

Now that we've gotten a few snowfalls, I'm really gearing up for winter and Christmas. They're my favorite time of year, meaning that I love to pull out books like this and go nuts. Snowflakes for All Seasons by Cindy Higham But one thing at a time. I understand the myriad reasons that people like to set up their Christmas decorations early. Some feel like I do and want the season to last as long as their families will stomach it. Some have to do it early because December is just too busy, or have to take advantage of help while they have it. All that is fine, but I prefer to wait until after Thanksgiving, and I wish retailers did, too. But this list of retailers open on T-giving shows they're much more concerned about the shorter shopping period between holidays than people being thankful for what they already have, for even one measly day of the year. (Yes, most people are thankful on other days, too. But I think it's reasonable to set aside one day ...

When we first moved back to Wisconsin, Spousal Unit's mom got us a Thanksgiving cactus (much like a Christmas cactus, but also different). That year, it bloomed, and it had the most beautiful flowers. Over the course of the next year, an apocalyptic mayhem was apparently wrought upon it by yours truly. A few sprigs of cactus fell off, much like the fabled Charlie Brown tree . And in its little plant mind, it screamed at me, "Why?! Oh, why would you do this to me?! For the love of GOD, just end it already!" And then we got cats. Titania is our mountain climber, nibbler, and all-purpose troublemaker. She steals yarn from my lap while I'm using it, eats candy wrappers that have any bit of chocolate stuck to them (yes, the whole wrapper), and tries to destroy our pipes by shredding the insulation off of them. (I don't let  her do any of these things, but when the human's away ...) Spousal Unit and I were still surprised (and horrified) when she de...

A few weeks ago, I went to The Vinery  in Madison and took one of their classes.They do lots of glasswork, including stained glass. (One of my favorites at the shop is of a great blue heron. You can see some of their custom work here .) The class I took involved artfully layering glass, which would then be fired and melted into the shape of a sushi dish and two sauce dishes. I think mine turned out pretty well. I definitely like the sauce dishes better - the orange stood out more, while it falls a little dull on the black surface. Plus the designs on the white dishes are cooler. I'm also a fan of the corner striping. I wasn't expecting the interesting curve on the big dish - it rocks like a rocking horse, while most dishes I saw were bent up on each side - but it's pretty and unique. It also holds a lot of sushi! This is three rolls' worth, and I easily could have stacked a fourth. They're filled with teriyaki eggplant and yellow and orange peppers. I ma...

You haven't had cats in a while. You've been good, though. You get cats today. Here is my typical writing station. Titania and Oberon are concerned that I'm taking pictures instead of writing. I'm glad to have such picturesque kitties. Not that I love them for their looks, but it helps when one needs blog photos.

My sister Brooke and I, somewhere around 1993, I think. When kids are little, they don't know what a decision is or how to make one. Whatever's in front of them at the moment defines their existence - and it's usually either the best thing in the world or the worst. My little sister Brooke was no exception. Like all kids, there were some things that she knew for certain that she liked (the color red). There were some that she knew she didn't (me not hanging out with her, because let's face it, I'm awesome). But most everything else in her life was without preference. I noticed this in particular one hot summer when we begged for popsicles and were allowed to choose what we wanted. It was one of those multi-flavor boxes, and most had been eaten already. The only ones left were cherry and grape, red and purple. I unwrapped them and held them out before her. "Do you want red or purple?" I asked. "Purple!" she exclaimed. But I'...

Last weekend was good stuff. I cuddled my kitties. My mom came to town - we went shopping, had tea, and got crafty (and if you were wondering, this is where I get it from). We saw horribly, terribly, gaudily ugly Christmas sweaters by the pound, way too early in the season. We ate Cheeseburgers in Paradise  ... ... And crazy drinks to go with them. All Spousal Unit ordered was lemonade  and it came like this. Mom had a Mai Tai! We were all confused about their hiring tactics. Not sure what an "ass host" is. One of the best parts for Mom was seeing the huge tree lit up in Greenway Station. (But don't tell Neal.)

I've been making some progress on my goals for the coming year already, particularly number 14: making yeast-based bread more often. I've already made three different recipes in the last month. One was by Real Simple - you know, the Martha Stewart thing. This Foolproof Whole-Wheat Sandwich Bread apparently had me fooled - it was only about two inches high when it came out of the oven. Still, it was tasty. Sandwich bread, my butt. The others have come from my Pillsbury Healthy Baking book. (I've shared this with you before , but it's really amazing. I've loved everything that's come out of it.) The first recipe was for braided loaves, made from no-knead refrigerator dough. I've used that recipe for rolls, but the bread was so good that I can't not make it again. It was sweeter than I wanted, despite cutting back on the sugar, which is fine; it's a sweeter recipe, dotted with almonds. But I bet I could take out all (or almost all) of t...

Write something around the proverb "Silence is a great healer." - from Creative Writing Prompts They both knew the other was awake, but pretended not to. Mornings lately were a grinding of gears, a tearing of pages, and best before the first word. He shifted to his side, feigning unawareness; she flowed against his back, taking what meager enjoyment she could. It was bitter beyond the covers; she tucked her nose back in. Neither could say exactly what brought them here. She would say it was months of effort with nothing to show for it. He would say the same, if he thought the truth wouldn't scald her. She exhaled, oven-warm, against his arm, but the air outside still chilled.

This morning is going to be trying. The kitties are going to the vet for a check-up, and last time I had to take them, Oberon wet himself in the two blocks to the vet. This time we're going to a vet we like better, who is farther away, but hopefully it will mean better comfort for them overall. Regardless, it's hard to hear them meow at me from within their carriers like I'm driving them to Auschwitz. So zen and peace is a good way to start the day. Source

Halloween has gotten pretty ridiculous in some ways. (To be fair, so has Christmas.) Chuck & Beans I've been over the Drool-Inducing Costume of Uncreative Idiocy since before it started. Now, it's almost impossible to find a prepackaged women's costume that isn't  focused on getting laid as quickly as possible. We all get it: sexy mummy , sexy Mad Hatter , and sexy pizza are all a thing (NSFW links, duh). Try a different adjective; you're starting to sound like a bad romance novel. This is one of many reasons I prefer to craft my own costumes. I've always really enjoyed pushing boundaries and pretending to be someone I'm not. For example, these are some of my previous costumes. Tigger A hobo boy Princess Leia Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde Beaker Sure, baring it all is bold and sassy. But I think it's bolder to think outside the conventional and be true to your inner badass. That's why I...