Deviant Dispatches

It took me longer than most kids to understand the whole point of Halloween. My mom says that at first, I went door to door trying to give candy to the people who answered. What a strange idea this must seem to kids - getting sweets from people you've never met, looking up at them wide-eyed as they put a big bowl of sweets in your face just for being somewhat adorable. (Or just for being there, depending on the costume.) Every year, Mom drove us - my sisters and I - way out in the country for Halloween. We'd visit my grandparents, showing off our fun new designs that would become dress-up clothes for a short time. Grandma always had a Ziploc bag of treats waiting for us. Then we would clamber back into the car, driving even farther away from the big city to reach our great-grandparents. They were about as Norwegian as an old farming couple can get. I never noticed that the house seemed kind of old, or that wood heat was becoming quite obsolete. After all, Grandma and Grandpa ha...

Back in the day, when I was about ten and in fourth grade, we took a field trip to a roller skating rink. It was one of the coolest places in town to us, in part because it had been recently renovated to be more awesome than anything else could be to the ten-year-old mind. There was the skating rink, with hills to skate up and down, a working train in the middle that you could ride, and occasional disco lights. There was an arcade off to the side where you could win tickets for prizes like those sticky hands that get stuck on the ceiling and leave their goop everywhere. There were above-rink tubes to crawl through. There was a party area with a White House, a Wild West jail cell, and many other cool backdrops. There was also the Root Cellar. To get to the Root Cellar, we headed down a staircase to this dank, dirty underground labyrinth, full of random extra rooms and strobe lights to make every motion more unusual. The place was named after all of the disgusting roots hanging from the ...

I've got a lovely bunch linky-nuts - deedly deedly... and those are what I'm sharing with you lovely readers today. Grab your favorite beverage for washing down links (so long as it won't get you drunk before work) and click away! A great PSA from the Nerd Machine about how to avoid everyone showing up as Princess Leia at the next cosplay party. I have that problem every time I go anywhere. (Personally, I get a little revolted at people picking out costumes just based on sexiness. Put some freakin' thought into it. If you like the guy character better, dress as a guy. It's not all about the booty, you know.) Also, be sure to watch all the way through for Nathan Fillion's little PSA at the end. The most interesting cat in the world. Based, of course, on the most interesting man in the world . A somewhat horrifying fight between a mongoose and a cobra. This is in someone's house. Someone who has a daughter and lots of stuffed dead things. (The two are not re...

My birthday this year has come and gone. My list of 25 things to do before turning 27 was pathetically attempted and has even become lost in the shuffle of living in a place not my own. I have a mention of it on my blog, here , which discusses the things I attempted and did not accomplish, as of June. I still have not accomplished any of them. I feel kind of pathetic. I'd love to give you a recap of the goals I achieved, as my friend Sandy does on her blog, but seeing as I lost the paper I wrote them on (which was a piece of scrap paper), I cannot do that. Wedding stuff was on there, along with seeing my childhood friend again for the first time in 18 years at the wedding. Beyond that, I do not recall. I'll let you know if I find that piece of mischievous paper again. The whole point of doing a list like this is to keep things exciting, to be bold about life when I might otherwise not be, and to keep challenging myself. Also, to remember to do the things I want, rather than not...

I don't think I've ever featured more than two or three pictures for a sunset post - at least, of a single sunset. But that changes today! Spousal Unit snuck out and collected these while I was stuck inside being sick last week - I love him, I certainly do. Enjoy all the pretty that he's captured for you, and click the photos to enlarge, because they're even more awesome full-size.

I'm going to do something rather grown-up today: I'm going to look at, and possibly purchase, an apartment. (By purchase I of course mean rent, because it would be silly of me to buy an apartment.) I'm a bit nervous. I've made a list of the questions I need to ask, but I wonder about all the things I'm going to miss, too. What if it turns out there's a HUGE roach infestation, like the place we were at in New Mexico? What if the water pipes suck and instead of any water pressure in the shower we just get a gentle rain? What if our new neighbors turn out to be Turkeyneck and Chickenfoot ? What if the guy showing the place turns out to be a jerk and a vampire? Double-whammy of bad luck, that would be. A friend of ours arranged the last place Spousal Unit and I had. There was no looking at the place; we were suddenly living there and everything was hunky dory. We have a bit more of a hand in choosing this place (by that I mean it's entirely up to us). Spousal U...

In high school and early college, I worked for a local grocery store. The store was conveniently located next to the cheapest housing in town, along with halfway houses for those just out of jail or overcoming addictions. We had some fun customers, doncha know. For all the customers who came in completely incoherent, with urine-soaked money, there were those who were actually interesting, too. We the checkers would converse with these regulars, and they made us wonder about them. One of those I remember most clearly was an elderly gentleman. I say gentleman because he was always dressed nicely, with a vest and slacks, and his hair slicked to one side - very 1920. I still maintain you can tell a lot about a person by what they purchase, wherever they go. This seemed especially true at the grocery store. This dapper gentleman would come in once every week or so and buy largely the same items: grapefruit, Listerine, and a big bottle of J. Bavet brandy. Sure, he bought other items too, but...

Has anyone else found traditional wedding gifts to be kind of ridiculous? You know the ones: you're supposed to give tin or aluminum for the tenth anniversary, silver for the 25th anniversary, and so on. Because nothing says "Happy tenth anniversary" like a tin cup or aluminum can. To a certain degree, these gifts make sense. Paper for the first year: so the couple can finally finish writing their wedding thank-yous (ahem note to self) , and it's cheap for them to give to each other. But there's some bizarre stuff on that traditional list - I know they vary sometimes, but I'm going off of the one I found here . Honestly, no joking: the 32nd anniversary gift is conveyances. Like bicycles and automobiles. I guess that's why it's the 32nd anniversary and not the 52nd, because they might have needed to add wheelchairs to the list at that point. The modernly devised anniversary gifts aren't much better. Rather than paper, that list starts out with clo...

November is upon us. I have yet to decide if I will fully participate in this year's National Novel Writing Month , but I will at least give my novel more focus. If nothing else, I will use this time to craft my characters and improve at least the first 30 pages of my novel, which are probably the worst pages I've ever written. For those who plan to participate (or who just like writing), I provide for you here some of my favorite writing-related implements of creation. Write or Die is a great way to get out the required number of words in a short amount of time. If you stop writing, the screen gradually turns pink, then red, then starts screeching at you in a most terrible manner. Beware: on occasion, rather than screeching, the program has removed my most recent words letter by letter. So, you know, keep cheating by hitting space and backspace over and over. (Also, you don't have to buy this. Look for the online edition on this website, in the right column.) Dragon Writin...

On Sunday, I ate a plethora of amazing food. I want a time machine specifically so I can go back to Sunday, freak out my earlier self and earlier Spousal Unit, and sneak food off of both their plates. It's totally possible, because last night I watched yet another episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that involved time travel. If it's that common in the future, I think I'm entitled to at least one instance of time travel in my life. These pancakes are enough to make me want it to be for last Sunday. Don't they look incredibly amazing? Spousal Unit made them. For those who don't know, Spousal Unit claims he can only make pasta and lasagna, but when I asked for pancakes, he made me the best damn pancakes I've ever had. (This is probably the only instance where I would say, " Are these cakes hot ? Then I will take ALL of them!") He's been holding out on me. When I praised his culinary prowess and he gave the credit to being an Eagle Scout, I th...

Yesterday was beautiful and fun. Spousal Unit and I had pancakes, watched football, went to the arboretum, and ate delicious Indian food. A good way to spend a one-day weekend. Below is a leaf from the arboretum here in Madison. If you haven't been, it's beautiful. Leaves are changing, and the grasses are somehow very calming, both in color and in their hypnotic sway. Below that leaf is a picture of us, one of the best we've taken in quite some time. We are a handsome couple.

Not my picture of the poet Today is E. E. Cummings's birthday! This is a big thing to me because when I was in high school, I went to a library book sale with my mom and found a copy of 50 Poems by him. I was completely blown away by his work. I couldn't believe that "l(a" was considered a poem. And that was one of his more understandable poems. His style of work really made me rethink what I thought poetry was and led to experimenting with my own. I still identify with a lot of his work. "i sing of Olaf glad and big" is one that I especially took to heart when the wars started. Be warned: it's an anti-war poem and gets kind of graphic. Cummings's poetry is part of what made me so against war early on. Garrison Keillor on Writer's Almanac read one of my favorites this morning, "you shall above all things be glad and young." The last two lines are beautiful: "I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing / than teach ten thousan...

Lately, I've been sleeping well again at last. It was nice to finally rely on not being tired when I woke up in the morning. But last night, that good sleep failed me. Not only did I have trouble falling asleep, but I kept waking up, too. It may have been the constant rain, but I think it was mostly the weird dream I had over and over again. I don't remember anything about it except the song Johnny Angel . Over. And over. And over. I kept waking up to it like someone had turned up a terrible radio of cheesy doom in my head. I haven't even heard that song in years - why did it have to be that song in my dream? And then, after the third time I woke up to it, I started wondering why the hell the couple in it will "see how lovely heaven will be." It's most likely because when they're together, it's heaven on earth. But with a name like Angel, it could be that he's a real angel and he's come to take her to heaven. Possibly it means they're goin...

It's a cool, rainy day in the neighborhood. Not quite back to fall, but it appears that the weather heeded my pleas and pointed its magnificently hot hair dryer away from us, at least for the time being. Now that it's cooler out, it's time for chai and biscotti. Mmm. My usual chai recipe is in a box at Spousal Unit's parent's, with all but a few of our books. I'm bummed about this because the recipe I usually use is perfect - I got it from Auntie, in New Mexico, who is Swedish by birth and Indian by marriage. So the recipe I've provided below is a mash-up of two recipes, one from All Recipes and one from Group Recipes . Many of the recipes I ran across suggested using Ceylon tea. You can use English Breakfast, Darjeeling, or any of the darker black teas. The kind I use is pearlized (compressed into tiny balls). As far as the spices go, you can measure them all out, as in this recipe, or you can find a local shop that sells chai masala - a blend of all the sp...

I ran across this book at work yesterday. Knitting for Peace by Betty Christianson is full of easy, simple patterns for things that people around the world need. Various charities are described in detail. The Mother Bear Project sends homemade teddy bears to children with HIV/AIDS. Project Linus sends homemade blankets - knitted, crocheted, fleece, quilted, etc. - to children who are seriously ill, have suffered trauma, or are generally in need of comfort. (Here's the website for the Madison chapter.) I love this idea so much. The idea that something I make can go toward not just the entertainment it provides me, but can significantly improve someone's life - especially a child's - makes my heart happy. Several years ago, I started a Project Linus blanket. It's... still in my stash. I made the mistake of making it too complicated for my then-rudimentary crochet skills. For next time, I'm remembering that a blanket can still be interesting, beautiful, and comforti...

Lately, I've been questioning a lot of things about my life. Who I am, who I want to be, what I want next - you name it, it's been on my mind. So many questions like that all at once can be a good thing. They can lead to big changes in a person's life. But I reached the point where I started to feel muddled and weighed down by them all. It was just depressing, and I felt caught in a spiral of doubt and negativity - one might call it a sneaky hate spiral . So yesterday I ventured down to the lake, to a spot that had a plethora of small rocks at the shoreline, and began to skip them. In college, I started that practice after watching the movie Amelie . Rock skipping is one of her pastimes, and it had been a long time since I'd done it. I found that each time I went, I felt lighter. It was a chance to be alone for a while - one bit of calm in the midst of my crazy life. That practice stopped while I was in New Mexico. Bodies of water are not exactly plentiful there, and th...

Dear Weather, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but... it's fall. I know. You've been having so much fun making us all think summer will last forever and a day. Well I have to tell you: I've not been lulled into complacency. And I won't be. I want my fall days. Today, the high is 82. Weather, you're being kind of ridiculous. It's time to let go. It's time for crisp days, where we need to bundle up in sweaters and scarves to go gallavanting about in the crunch of leaves underfoot. It's time for a chill breeze, which drives us in from that walk to a cup of apple cider, or hot chocolate, or tea. Quite simply, it's time that you stop confusing me. This is the first time in years that I've had a chance to experience the change of seasons that I so dearly love. Where I lived in New Mexico, it certainly got cooler in the winter... sometimes. There was definitely snow... for a couple of days. And the leaves fell from the trees... but not in as broad...

I'm a big Star Wars fan. Have been since I was in fifth grade, when I first saw the movies. They shaped my world. I wore a Princess Leia costume to the first showing of Episode I, and I spewed movie quotes in every direction, even in class. BUT. I'm a big Star Trek fan, too. At work the other day, I heard two young nerds exclaiming loudly, as they ransacked the Star Trek novels, that it's impossible to be a fan of both the final frontier and a galaxy far, far away. I've yet to hear a good reason why people think this so mistakenly. I have no problem loving phasers and blasters, warp speed and hyperspace, shielding and reckless abandon. Before seeing Episode III in theaters, we had a Star Wars marathon, watching everything in release order (except we only watched the pod race in Phantom Menace, because no one can stand that much Jake Lloyd). Yet on my honeymoon with Spousal Unit, it was a day-long Star Trek marathon we reveled in (Next Generation, of course). I can under...

Today's sunsets are brought to you by our alternate sunset viewing area, and people like you. Or rather, my need to go fill out insurance papers before work. Blech. Have a marvelous Wednesday!

Everywhere I look online, I'm seeing the word "occupy" appear. At first, it was just "Occupy Wall Street." We Are the 99 Percent's website features posts from people who are in the enormous bottom segment of income in the United States: people who aren't making enough to live on and are involuntarily in hopeless situations. And with almost every post came that phrase. I had no clue what it meant. That was two days ago. Yesterday, I saw it again, in links on Facebook. Occupy Wall Street is a social/political movement (somewhat connected to the group Adbusters ) that some are comparing to the recent Middle Eastern revolts. The purpose is more or less to stand up, as the lower-class majority, and stand against a country run by the top one percent of money holders. According to the website , they have "an interest in returning the US back into the hands of it's individual citizens." (Guys, I love the idea, but you need a copy editor. I volunte...

One reason my novel has been moving kind of slowly is that I need to do some background research on many different subjects before being able to write about them with some expertise. Yes, fiction writers need to research things too; "write what you know" just means you should learn before writing (or before starting the second draft), and that is my plan. Considering that my book has zombies in it, I want to learn about the history of zombie culture. World War Z by Max Brooks is just one of many books I could start with on the subject. Though my idea of zombies is different from the typical Hollywood zombie , it's still good to have that background. It will allow me to pick and choose which ideas to stick with - and maybe give me ideas to develop the method of contagion better. When it comes to herbal medicine, I'm worried about finding a book that won't get into a bunch of hippie/New Age stuff. I just want to know, factually, what the uses of certain herbs and p...