Egg Rolls and Ecstasy

A few weeks ago, while grocery shopping, Spousal Unit and I encountered a package of egg roll wraps on sale for an exciting low price. We screamed with joy and threw them in our shopping cart with zeal. When we got home, we put them in our fridge and forgot about them.

Until now.

Their expiration date was drawing nigh, and we wanted to give them a proper send off, so we braced ourselves mentally and physically for the insanity of ingesting fabulous fried food.

I was practically shaking in my boots over cooking these unassuming little rolls. After all, I've made tempura before, which resulted in oil burns on my armpit. (I was wearing a tank top, and the oil splattered when I lifted the lid.) Unless you've made some splatterrific fried goods before, you have no idea what a pain it is. The extra drops of tempura batter resulted in an extra splatter factor, along with condensation built up on the lid. The entire stove gets oily, and you can never quite get all the grease off the teapot.

Thus did I don my long-sleeved shirt and begin the arduous process of dinner. The garlic was simmered, veggies were cooked, and (most fun of all) the veggies were wrapped all snug in their little packets of stretchy dough. Seriously, that part was more fun than I ever have with food.

Then came the oil. It came to a temperature that freaked out when splashed with water, so I grabbed the fork-ended cooking utensil (no clue what it's actually called), loaded it with floury egg rolls, and sent them on their merry way.

At first, I was terribly confused. The pan did not immediately erupt in oily splashes of doom. Had I done something wrong? But no, it began to bubble around the base - gently. In short time I turned the egg rolls, and the first batch was done. Minimal doom involved. Hurrah!

As I put more egg rolls in, the oil did get more turbulent, but never reaching the epic proportions seen with frying tempura. That was super awesome for me. No burns!

And so the egg rolls were prepared. Dinner was almost ready for us, though we lacked one crucial ingredient: a dipping sauce or two. Or three.

Okay, so we had four. The ones in the dishes are teriyaki and a goopier ginger teriyaki. Delicious, but I loved the horseradish sauce on them, as seen below.

Food is definitely a good thing.