Empty Pots on Patio Blow Back and Forth All Day

MADISON, Wisc.--In true hippie spirit, the black pot and the brown pot have been blowing in the wind on a second story porch for several weeks now, content to roam wherever the wind takes them.

At one point, in a show of individualistic thinking highly frowned upon by the brown pot, which has been wedged in a corner for two days, it almost appeared that the black pot would ignore the call of the wild and stay put. But in a last second gesture of bravery, it rolled across the patio once again, revisiting the same knot and splinters it rolled over five seconds ago.

Pot owner Allison says she's considered picking them up and stacking them between other pots on the patio, which are full of dirt and serving a greater purpose in life. "I hate to take away their freedom, though. Look at those guys. They're free to do whatever they want. Who am I to put them in their place?"

Her sentiment is representative of that throughout the Madison area, where many tree-hugging hippies are content to let their gardening implements and lawn furniture run rampant through the city streets. This has led to such incidents as the 2011 lawn chair stampede and the case earlier this year of a rogue trowel that stabbed its owner in the foot. The trowel is still at large and considered unarmed, but dangerous; please call local police forces if it is seen and do not attempt to engage.

Despite Allison's apparent consent of their lifestyle, the pots refused to comment.