The Tea From the Black Lagoon

Republic of Tea is my favorite of the more commercial tea companies. Their teas are tasty, their teaware is gorgeous, and they have a sense of humor, referring to themselves as "ministers of the Republic of Tea." I've loved everything I've gotten from them.

Until now.
Get Clean

I bought this Get Clean tea to see if it would help relieve some of the general "yucky" I've felt lately. I'd never tried detoxing tea before; it sounded like it would taste of pigs' feet and smell of elderberries. Not so, according to the website's reviews.


Everyone seemed to really enjoy the tea's flavor. The least favorable reviewer just said she wasn't "that crazy" about the taste, which implies it's in the middle ground. I decided those reviews were good enough, so I ordered and waited.

Boys and girls: you should never trust strangers on the internet.

The tea arrived and I gleefully made a cup, ready to feel more refreshed. I took an eager first sip, paying special attention to the taste of it. But I can only imagine the grimace I must have made. 

It tasted like utter crap. Its weird combination of bitter and sweet, plus something in between (not unlike the mud caked to the bottom of one's shoe) made me feel such revulsion that I did a spit take.

I am not kidding. I spit that crap right into the sink. I'm just glad I didn't retch.

Part of the problem was that, after those reviews, I was expecting a much more pleasant imbibing experience. I felt akin to a child at Christmas, who has reached the present she was told to save for last, who felt in every fiber the thrill of the last and best Christmas present, only to tear away the paper and discover a box of Wheaties. (Not that such a thing ever happened to me. Ahem.) With such high praise from a fair number of reviewers, the tea ought to have been mildly enticing at the very least. But all of those reviewers must have added something to their tea. 

It was probably crack. That's my only explanation for such high praise of this hot leaf juice.

Now that I'm aware of its terrible taste, I can make myself drink it. The tea does its job, after all, and after a cup of it meanders through my body, I feel more refreshed, lighter. But I can only drink it if I add a tablespoon of sugar, which probably takes away from the cleansing a bit.

Comments

  1. Amy (Kid-FreeLiving)May 19, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    I agree! We bought that tea and I was like... "What is this awful taste?" It was like dirty dishwater or something. That what I get for trying to get clean. Had to wash the taste of it out of my mouth with wine!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sally Anns and a Can of Spam

Image
Sally Anns are one of my favorite cookies. By their taste alone, they evoke a sense of home and comfort, reminding me of the kitchen at my grandparents' place and the simple happiness of mid-afternoon sweets. They're the only food that evokes the thought, This would be better with a cup of coffee. Making them was a good Easter activity, especially as I was stuck away from the family due to unpacking (the books are now free!) and yard work shenanigans (such as finding a dead mouse in the yard, which was lovely). With help from my mom, I found the recipe in the family cookbook (my great-great-grandparents are on the cover, and other awesome old pictures are scattered throughout). I decided that the transgression of buying a can of Spam (just once) was worth it for the sake of the cookies. Poke holes in the bottom of the can to allow for air flow. I didn't have enough butter for a full batch, but half of one made 18 Cookies of Unusual Size. I made the mistake of
Read more

Leavetaking by Eve Merriam

Image
Vacation is over; It's time to depart. I must leave behind (Although it breaks my heart) Tadpoles in the pond, A can of eels, A leaky rowboat, Abandoned car wheels; For I'm packing only Necessities: A month of sunsets And two apple trees. I'm packing today. What are you doing?
Read more

The Beatles' Help! Scarf

Image
Remember when I posted about making Beatles-themed crafts after seeing Cirque du Soleil's performance of Love? I've finished the first one. Here's a refresher of the original Help! scarf. Source And here's my version: a massive thing that I gave my sister for her birthday. In these shots, it's wrapped around her neck twice. I didn't measure the beast before I sent it to its new home, but it's probably about 8 feet long. Made with Caron yarn on size 8 needles, this tube scarf was 40 stitches in the round. Each block of color is 20 rows. The only tricky parts are getting a smooth transition between colors and what to do with the yarn ends inside the tube, but they are easy problems to solve. When you transitioning, knit a normal row with the new color, then pull tight the last stitch of the previous color. That last stitch shouldn't disappear entirely, but it will be close, and your problem will be solved. Then, because this scarf
Read more