Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Tears to Laughter

On Saturday, Spousal Unit and I were driving home and this song by the National came on.

The day had been long. It started out lovely, but something shifted when I went to buy a dress for upcoming weddings.

I think it had something to do with my self-consciousness about my body. I didn't terribly feel like putting on different skins, analyzing them, scrutinizing myself. But I did it, because it needed doing.

I went to run a few other errands, and there were more of bad drivers out than usual, giving me heart attacks at every turn and making me seethe at their idiocy. I called errands off early and went home, where Spousal Unit reminded me of his need for dress shoes. So we went out again, because it needed doing.

Something about the song Runaway speaks to the softest part of me - the part I'm always trying to protect, the part I rarely show. Part of it is the lyrics, but I think more of it is the emotion in the lead singer's voice.

Sitting at a stop light, this song played on the stereo. It perfectly captured what I'd been feeling, and I was completely caught off guard. (It was a little like this scene from Equilibrium, which I just watched.)

"The more I listen to the National, the more I like his voice," Spousal Unit commented.

I nodded, biting my lip. A few tears escaped me.

"I think he's able to put emotion into his singing more easily in the higher register," he added.

I said nothing, and he looked over at me. He looked horrified. "Are you crying?"

I nodded.

"... There's nothing wrong with the lower register!" he blurted out.

I went from crying to laughing. The light turned green. And I felt better, because even when I'm sad, he can find a way to make me smile.

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