Friday, February 1, 2013

Things I Know About My Downstairs Neighbor...

...without having properly met him.

1. Based on the number of shoes in front of his door at any given time, he either has two or six children.

2. Based on the number of coats in front of his door last night, his apartment has recently developed a selective black hole, which sucked away his hall closet.

3. He can't hear very well, to the point that his music must be loud enough to rattle my floors for him to hear it properly.

4. He only likes very loud, very bad heavy metal and Gagnam Style. All other music is sub-par.

5. His reaction to my presence suggests that he's often been asked to "turn it down a little."

6. He only plays his drum kit immediately after showering. This leads me to believe he has a sterilized drum kit in a clean room.

7. Today, I learned that yelling at 5 a.m. is his favorite. His kids' too.

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