Clairvoyance and the Coming Fall
I'm about to reveal that I'm even weirder than you always suspected.
Sometimes, I've just known something. As certainly as you know an apple thrown in the air will hit the ground, I've (impossibly) understood a future truth.
When I was 19, I barely knew a thing about this boy in my band class. Despite that, I felt a connection and knew that if he gave us a chance, we could last a long time together. I'd never even had a boyfriend before.
Ten months later, we started dating. We've been together 15 years.
When we lived in New Mexico, I knew about our future daughter. I saw her dark hair, her dimples. At that point, I didn't even know if I wanted kids, but the image of her was so clear.
Ten years later, she is five and as vibrant and full of personality as I saw then.
I share these as a precursor so that you can fully understand. When I say I had a Feeling, I want you to know what I mean.
When Trump came down the escalator four years ago to announce his candidacy for president, people around me laughed, as seemed appropriate to them. News outlets rolled their eyes at his ridiculousness, at the idea that he could have a shot.
I knew the second I saw the news clip that he was a threat and nothing good would come of this.
As he runs for his second term, I fully believe that the November election is a threat as well. This is less a premonition and more an understanding of our current political atmosphere. I cannot foresee a situation in which this power-hungry dictator relinquishes control - he's not what anyone would call humble or a gracious loser.
Whether there is or isn't voter fraud, whether he wins or Biden does, I can't imagine that November will bring anything but more pain. Losing would cause him to cry foul and tighten his grip; he would incite his base to commit more hate crimes and sporadic violence, and the blind loyalists he has installed will do their worst to secure his position. Winning would do much the same.
The Feeling I had about him on the escalator has certainly become reality already through his tending of crops sown long ago: hatred, racism, and American egocentrism. He did not herald the coming of these things, but he has certainly allowed them to flourish. While I don't have any sense of whether he will win or lose, whether democracy as we know it will continue, I do know that November is going to be a problem. And if 2020 has shown us anything so far, we should understand that not only can it get worse, it probably will.
I don't know what, if anything, we can do about this. My family is privileged in certain ways: we are white, Spousal Unit and I can work from home, we have no preexisting conditions, we are homeowners, we are financially stable. We lack privilege in other areas, but the ones we have are enormous during the pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement.
I encourage you to examine where your privilege lies and how you can best support and lend protection to those who are lacking. My family has decided to donate our government stimulus to various charitable organizations over the course of this year. This is all I know; this is all I can do. I intend to do good recklessly in these uncertain times and to continue fighting against injustice wherever I see it, because to do otherwise is to allow it to reign unchecked. At the least, I can demonstrate that those in need are not alone, that at least one other person will lift them up and validate them. I can sleep at night knowing I've done my best to fight for right.
Don't let your light go out, America. I have a Feeling about this.
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